Tuesday, February 28, 2006
“we are the cry of the exodus.
there is no home for us here.
we are a nomadic tribe of psalters,
walking in the footsteps of ancients past
to the far corners of the present,
united as one voice against the
oppression within and without.
one more echo in the eternal song of our
First Love, our Hope, our Pillar of Fire.”
I loved this short paragraph, thanks for sending it to me Colleen.
Monday, February 27, 2006
The Hebrew word translated "fierce" means "bitter of soul."
A fierce man is sometimes a bitter soul. Sometimes such bitterness leads one to great action when harnessed with the purposes of God. It can awaken you and stir you to fight.
Many people have grown numb in their soul or become so comfortable that they don't feel robbed of anything. In the words of Jesus...They have need of nothing (Rev. 3:17). A man robbed is a man alive with something potent...something that will fuel a sense of justice. Like William Wallace seeking Justice for the death of his beautiful young wife...he will find a way, a bloody way, a fierce way.
To much of churchianity is Cuddle Commitment. One big group back rub to keep us comfortable and placid. We are not in need of armor but leisure suits. We come into church and like Mr. Rogers we exchange one set of soft clothes for another. But than again what is the point of armor if your not fighting anything anyway? We don't need fierce men to usher or mow the lawn or clean the church or pay the bills. We don't need fierce men to fill a chair or attend a meeting...any old butt will do for that. Fierce men are needed for taking ground, extending dominion, seeking justice, breaking darkness, establishing churches, going to the ends of the earth...we can't even get men to come to the front of the church for prayer.
I want to be surrounded with fierce men...men who live as though they have lost something and are going to be able to take it back. Violent men who know how to take something by force in the spirituals and it wouldn't hurt to see a few who could kick a few butts too! The only time we see any beards these days is when we play like the men in the past who lived lives that made a difference. I don't want to read other peoples stories alone...I want to make stories for ourselves. Live in such a way that someone else would want to escape into our adventure.
Men don't follow programs...they follow men.
The church must have a vision greater than itself if it wants to attract fierce men.
And a church must have David's if it wants mighty men that are valiant.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
(WARNING SLIGHTLY RAW CONVERSATION COMING UP)
I couldn't help but feel like my last vestige of manhood was taken...the other was removed after selling my Suburban and buying a minivan.
Ohh the agony when mid-life and poverty collide, leaving one helpless in the hands of the cruel mistress of mortality. What is a nice, amiable, considerate, kind, fatherly, goody-goody to do now?
Crack open a case of root BEER, kick back on the bean bag with my KJV bible and watch a little TBN I guess. Ahhh the suburbia life...
Friday, February 24, 2006
Which is a very important point that needs to be considered.
This blog is not holy scripture, not a sermon, not a litmus test or a catechisms but a personal journal. It isn't a discipleship tool in the church sense, it's not a bible study site or a how to, 3 point to anything cure all.
It's a torrent of thought, emotion, ideas and beliefs that are cast out there on the anvil of public debate and scrutiny. I have a comments section for anyone to challenge, judge, share, thank or question further the conversation that is taking place. Some will and some won't and communication is dangerous because clarity is a difficult thing to always gain in a post. But that is the beauty of the process, the sifting the refining of ideas and thoughts that takes place on a blog. The very medium can change the message due to interaction. What begins as fact can be submitted to the public discourse and change due to the light given in the expanding conversation. I love that process, weakness and all.
My blog will be a trail for my children to follow and a warning to heed. It is an honest look into this man's heart, darkness and light, encouragement and discouragement, holiness and sinfulness, cynicism and optimism. They will see a man who was bold and fearful, truthful and critical, hungry for truth and able to expose error. Someone who was not afraid of confrontation, disagreement or criticism, praise or ridicule and one that wouldn't be bullied or shamed into compliance with a certainreligious or secular box.
A man who lived and died on the edge of honesty.
I find the same rough edges that many of you warn about in the bible in varying degrees. Psalms is a dark and depressing mix of praise and pain, anger and submission. David was crushing people with his heels in one moment and ascending to the heavens in praise in the next. It's gritty, real and fully holy in all it's humanity, something that I find quite void in most of our sanitized Christian interactions with each other.
So I guess I will leave it at that and thank everyone for helping solidify my convictions and bolstering my resolve to continue to engage the battlefield of ideas inspite of all it's mayhem and gore.
I have never claimed to be a king Solomon. I am like David, a warrior with blood on my hands.
Now if for that I won't be chosen to build the house of the Lord, so be it...I am what I am.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
All my subsequent works are written in the same deliberately spare
style as Night. It is the style of the chronicles of the ghettos, where
everything had to be said swiftly, in one breath. You never knew when
the enemy might kick in the door, sweeping us away into nothingness.
Every phrase was a testament. There was not time or reason for anything
superfluous. Words must not be imprisoned or harnessed, not even in the
silence of the page. And yet, it must be held tightly. If the violin is
to sing, its strings must be stretched so tight as to risk breaking;
slack, they are merely threads. -Elie Wiesel.
It's strings must be stretched so tight as to risk breaking...wow that
speaks to my heart.
There is so much around me that is merely threads...superfluous for
I find in writing on this blog, that choosing the right words is a art
and art always has it's critics both internally and externally. I love
words that are barbed and can't be easily disengaged from the heart or
mind. Like a fish hook stuck in your lip are the perfect words found.
They set the hook so nicely and if you try to wrench them out they will
take a whole lot of heart meat with them.
I also know that with the stretching time comes more acute and
piercing sounds...sometimes on tune and sometimes not but still a a
part of the process. Making music isn't about perfection or not playing
wrong notes it's about learning, practice and time.
I took a double take when I saw this picture...it's been a while since I was this thin.
Monday, February 20, 2006
my God illuminates my darkness.
With You I can attack a barrier,
and with my God I can leap over a wall.
I don't know about you but in 2005 I hit a wall, a significant wall that I didn't think I was going to be able to pass. Disillusionment, despair, depression, discouragement, disappointment, defeat all stood before me like a massive barrier, unable to scale and very ominous.
Hitting the wall. It's inevitable in every arena of life to eventually encounter barriers.
Barriers can break you or make you. Barriers can blow out the lamp of vision. They can drain your enthusiasm and cripple your hope. The come in all sizes and situations and they test your faith, your endurance...they reveal what lies in the deepest recesses of your soul. They separate the men from the boys, the leaders from the followers. Walls train you and test your training.
As I was running this morning, I was really tired for some reason. I am not sure why, it might be the bladder infection I got which made me piss blood in the gym Saturday (that freaked me out!) or just the long week I had last week. But whatever the case I was dragging big time. I run 6 miles in an hour and to do that for me, I have to keep a pretty good pace, I am drenched by the end of the run. It feels good afterwards but during the run there are moments when everything screams stop!
Today it felt real tough 15 minutes into the run...I knew then that this was going to be a fight. I had to pull real deep to not settle for stopping today. As I was passing the last 15 minutes the above scripture came to my mind. I realized I was hitting a wall...I have been stuck at 222-221 for over a week and a half which is really frustrating because I have increased my distance and intensity and altered my diet even more to try to finally get under 220, a major goal for me.
A wall. Ohhh it seemed so big in my burning legs and sweaty body and tired mind but I kept pushing, allowing this scripture to give me wind, letting it seep into my spirit and bring up other walls that I have been hitting.
All barriers to the promises I am called to apprehend in my life.
In that moment as the sweat is streaming down my face and I am giving it ALL I have, 110% pure push...I realized these walls will be overcome if I ATTACK them and not settle or allow them to prevent me from moving forward.
I sense this to be year of the leap.
God is empowering us to leap over the walls that have kept us at the level of living we have settled for or simply accepted as our fate. God will illuminate the areas of our life that these barriers and walls have stood unchallenged for to long and a great strength will come this year to finally get over them!
I believe it.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
This week has been quite rollercoaster of a ride! During the middle of the week I got a strategy from the Lord for starting the fund raising off for BLAZE. I felt the challenge to put up my 1968 Mustang for sale to pay for one of the days of the conference at the new facility. It will cost us $2400 to use this awesome site. Currently the youth ministry fund is $2000 in debt. SSo holding the conference at the new venue seemed like quite a stretch of faith and from the looks I got from some people, I knew it sounded crazy. But something in my gut just wanted to push it and see if we could make it happen. It just felt right.
I preached a message today called: It's time to pick a fight. It was about faith, courage and unleashing actions grounded in an understanding of the greatness and power of God. At the end of the message we showed the BLAZE promo video that LeeElla spent 30 hours creating. I announced my Mustang plan and we watched the video.
By the end of the video I had a check in my pocket for $2,400...both days paid for, mustang sold! That was awesome, way above what I thought we would raise. But then someone else came up and said they wanted to sow $2000 into the youth fund to bring it back up to where we are no longer in debt! Then someone else came up and said they wanted to give $2000 for additional conference expenses!!!! HELLO!!!! $6,400 dollars just like that...KABOOM!
That rocks my world!
I have prayed to dream God's dreams for the youth of this region and challenged to take greater steps of faith to match the limitless resources and heart that God has to impact this area. Today He spoke back that dream in a loud way!
Thank you God and thank you people who believe in the vision to touch a generation.
You amaze me.
who had done mighty deeds, killed two lion-like heroes of Moab.
-2 Samuel 23:20
I love that phrase.
Sure they were the enemy but they were heroes nonetheless to someone.
One persons hero is another persons enemy but heroism is still heroism and ones opponents can recognize and celebrate heroism no matter who it is in.
Lion-like...the scriptures say that the righteous are as bold as a lion.
It's funny if you watch male lions in the wild, they are pretty lazy looking fellas. They lay around most of the time and actually the female lions do most of the hunting and raising the cubs. They often don't really act like Kings of wild. If you were to judge them by most of their behavior you would not see the true beastliness of their nature.
Until they get ticked off or really hungry or protective of their pride.
Then look out, you will see a behemoth of a beast unleashed. A mighty roar that will peel the skin of courage right off your soul. They will rise up and shake their mammoth mane with the swagger of Samson. They will unveil a jaw full of bone crushing fangs that will make a grown man pee his pants!
The sound of their breath and the pounding of their paws in pursuit will make the ground tremble and all courage drain out of your veins.
But the righteous are as bold...or at least they used to be known as such.
Where are the lion-like heroes today?
Tamed, caged and too civilized I fear.
I want to be known as: a valiant man of Kabzeel...or Spokane.
Lion-like, a hero in the things that matter.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Crowbar Massage is going to get an upgrade to the new 2.0 version.
A softer, more gentle touch is ahead.
A more agreeable, less confrontational, more palatable experience for
A more compassionate conservatism without all the meanness.
A site that is family friendly, kind of a Wiggles for adults.
A controversy free zone where everyone can indulge in cyber hugs.
I am going to be the incarnation of Mr. Rogers and this will be your
friendly Internet neighborhood. So take off your combat boots and slip
on a ochre yellow sweater, grab a little tea and lets chat.
Forget the crowbar, we all need a massage with tender and loving
hands, with sweet flute music to accompany our journey towards a more
harmonized and homogenized loving community.
A fresh breeze of spiritual sunshine is dawning upon this new middle
of the road meadow.
A place to hold hands and sing-along to the latest soft rock with
A kind of cyber commune where we can get in touch with our inner child
and share openly with tissues close at hand.
Somewhere you can just be you...because you are smart enough, and good
enough and because by golly, I like you.
So you can leave your apprehension at the door.
Drop your guard this is a house of healing, a respite in the
complicated world of opinions.
We are going to drive off that naughty little person who stirs up the
waters and embrace a culture of conformity, niceness and neutral
Please turn off that angry Keith Green music and grab your Precious
Moments Bible and your Test-a-Mints and get down to some good ol
Ummmmmm....well...maybe, maybe not.
Is this seriously what is wanted out there?
I can't tell you how disappointed I am with all of this.
My spirit wept this morning as I was running at the YWCA listening to
This is the cry that rang out of my guts:
"Where is the Lord God of Elijah?"
The troubler of Israel as Ahab called him.
I guess I STAND ALONE as Godsmack says.
I hear all your critiques, corrections, rebukes and wise counsel and I
We all need correction, we all need accountability, we all need to see
the impact and weight of our words.
Thank you for all the meetings, the phone calls, the emails and the
comments. I will prayerfully apply the Lord's wisdom to the continual
unfolding of who I am becoming. I sincerely mean that.
I must confess, I feel like Job....a lot of words, accusations, etc
but in the end I feel no one really understands.
But so be it.
If the subject is important to any one out there that was to afraid to
say anything, there is a book that you might want to read that says
everything I have been trying to say without all my angst. It is called
"Why men HATE going to church by David Murrow. Read it and you will get
a little more insight into my frustration and conclusions. And NO I
didn't read the book then post about it, my thoughts came before I got
the book. It is refresing to know that someone out there feels the same
way and chose to write a book about it. Thank you David for having the
guts to say what needs to be said no matter what the cost. I admire you
for that and your book was a God send at a very critical moment.
Friday, February 17, 2006
This has been a wild week so far! In fact the list of names and charges
against me are mounting.fleshy, unspiritual, needs medication, rude,
over the top on and on it keeps coming. Whew! I can relate to this
scripture now in a whole new way
When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people
were saying, 'He has gone out of his mind. -Mark 3:21
But I still stand by my words, even though they were inflammatory.
But let me clarify a few things that have seemed to cause a lot of
Concerning NEW HOPE:
. I don't have an axe to grind with New Hope, sorry to deflate all you
church splitters, disgruntled gossipers and body feeders out there but
My angst isn't directed at Donnella, LeeElla or Angela as worship
leaders. They are gifted, anointed and some of the most warrior-like
women I know, in fact they put most of us pious pansies to shame.
. My critique of worship comes from my 20 plus years of Christian music
exposure, my involvement in over 8 different churches as a leader and
member. My work as a pastor and rubbing shoulders with leaders,
conferences, camps, services by the tons, missions, outreaches in the
usa and outside the usa. It comes from reading voraciously for years:
books, magazines and newsletters, from listening, buying and monitoring
the worship movement since late 80's to now. It comes from the hundreds
of worship cds I own and have used and it comes from hands on
experience in worship as a worship leader, doer and passionate pusher
of powerful praise and intimate worship. I am not critiquing something
I don't do or have not done or don't know anything about.
. I am not against passion or intimacy in worship. I teach it, I model
it, I lead the way in expressing it naturally and unashamedly. I weep,
I shout, I dance, I use flags in worship and I have been known to hug
and kiss a few Christians too. I can sing any song and match it's
intensity of passionate expression with a reality in my own life. I am
a lover of God in the fullest and most intimate of senses. I am not
afraid or feelings or sharing them or expressing them.
. I am not against women in leadership or women in general. I have
loved a woman leader for 16 years. Some of my most deep friendships are
with women. I have women leaders that I respect and admire in my life.
I support, empower, protect and believe in the freedom and expression
of all things feminine. I dig chicks.
Concerning MY SEXUALITY:
. I am not gay. I don't have a problem with my masculinity or the
expression of it. I have four kids through birth, everything works, I'm
not a eunuch.
. I don't hate gays. I have had very close friends that were gay or
struggled with homosexuality. I consider it a homosexuality/lesbianism
a sin but I consider overeating a sin too. So put that in your pipe and
Concerning RAW LANGAUGE
. I know that being a pastor means so many things to so many people and
that being in this position means that my words will be judged both by
you the reader/hearer and more importantly by Jesus. Knowing that, I
still stand by my use of raw and colorful language. I regret not being
more clear and making sure that individual people were not hurt by what
I wrote. But if scripture can use vivid, shocking and sometime crude
language and it is considered inspired than I will too. If Paul
speaking of the ultra-Christian religious Jews who wanted to circumcise
believers, can say in Galatians 5:12: As for those agitators, I wish
they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves! Than I can get a
tad pointed too.
Concerning FEMINIZATION/SEXUALIZATION OF WORSHIP
. Let me clarify what I mean when I say I have a problem with
feminization of worship. In Angela's manifesto against Eric Blauer she
said: YOU were the one who introduced me to songs like "Jesus I need to
know true love. Deeper than the love found on earth. .let me know the
kisses of your mouth .let me smell the fragrance of your touch.. etc.
etc." I love Vineyard music, but they have a lot of male writers who
write some female sounding words. We wont discuss the fact that those
words come from scripture though. (no we wont).
Yep, I did introduce that song and I apologize, it was inappropriate. I
understand that now. Taking a portion of scripture that is clearly a
sensual or sexual focused passage and ripping it out of its context and
spiritualizing it is wrong and dangerous. The Bible doesn't use
sensuality or eroticism as a way to describe our relationship with
Christ. Marriage is symbolic on some levels but to start sexualizing
worship is not in my opinion a proper way to teach people how to
approach or interact with the Holy Spirit. What's next songs that start
equating orgasm with some spiritual experience? Jesus is the lover of
my soul not my flesh! My wife is here for that. So let's leave the
intimacy for the bedroom and take it off the stage and out of the
I don't want to be held in Jesus' arms and have Him kiss me with the
kisses of His mouth. He is not my valentine nor my source of erotic
passion. All that is homo-erotic sounding stuff and most guys are going
to cringe at being led into such imagery. Maybe as a woman you may be
able to relate to some forms of such imagery but as a man it's gross
and uncomfortable and unnatural. Draw me close to you, never let me
go.starts sounding like a Kelly Clarkson song. Smell the fragrance of
your touch.come on do I really have to say any more about all this? I
understand all the allegorical thoughts, the spiritualization of those
passages, I have done it with the best of them and there is some truth
to it but I think just as we leave some forms of intimacy behind closed
doors, so too we should draw a line in some of this intimacy stuff.
Concerning MALE OR FEMALE:
. Last time I checked God is consistently described and portrayed as a
Father which is a male description. He surely expresses feminine
qualities but scripture has chosen to describe Him in male wording.
Concerning MY HUMANNESS:
. Yes, I am human and what I say is not inspired. It may be wrong and
colored by a host of personal issues, experiences and opinions.welcome
to reality. As a pastor I seek to live a real life. I do not try to
project a religious persona that isn't who I really am. The person you
read or hear is me. It's my voice, my dress, my ideas, my heart and my
failures. I don't play games to impress people or curry their favor. I
offend people not out of intent of heart as out of necessity of truth.
I take no pleasure in hurting people with no point or taking wind out
of their sails. Surgery isn't fun and I confess, sometimes I seek to
hurt to heal.
. Unlike some of the responses in the posts, I seek to address the
issues not the personalities. I find it helps getting along better with
people if we don't go for their jugular or seek to smash their heads
with verbal sledgehammers or degrade them with emotional shaming. I use
generalizations for propriety's sake. It is more humane to address the
group than the person in such a format. But if you would like a
personal flaming I could arrange that too, my flesh would love to
Hopefully these thoughts will help shed some light on the SUBJECT I was
For all you people who want to get a rope.my neck size is a 16.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Good bible quotes...putting them into a context for every life
situation is the hard part isn't it. For I am sure you wouldn't lay
those scriptures as a blanket over every situation, would you? Life is
full of complex issues, people and events that evoke and provoke a
response. I could delve into many bible stories and historical figures
and events that called for righteous anger. Then there is the whole
biblical revelation on the character of God and his wrath, His
vengeance, His anger and other potent qualities that have left their
mark on the image of man. All of which we struggle with to master, rule
and express in a godly way.
And that is the trick isn't it...a godly way, because a biblical
revelation of God's ways and a man centered view of them are often not
the same. I doubt that many religious people would have encouraged
Jesus as he was weaving a three cord whip for the temple money
changers. He must have been dealing with a little emotion as "Zeal for
His Fathers' house CONSUMED Him!
It is easy to quote scriptures or run a little concordance check and
than spit them out but it is quite another thing wrestling with the
realities of life, emotions, sin and dual natures and complex issues
I wish you would of left your name so I could know if you were a woman
Simply for tally sake, to determine which side of the line has the
But hey shadow posting is safer.
Anger --no peevish fit of temper, but just, generous, scalding
indignation --passes (not necessarily at once) into embracing,
exultant, re-welcoming love. That is how friends and lovers are truly
reconciled. Hot wrath, hot love. Such anger is the fluid that love
bleeds when you cut it. The angers, not the measured remonstrances, of
lovers are love's renewal.
-C.S. Lewis, Prayer: Letters to Malcolm.
I never work better than when I am inspired by anger. When I am angry
I can write, pray and preach well; for then my whole temperament is
quickened, my understanding sharpened, and all mundane vexations and
Voltaire called the frenchman La Harpe:
"An oven which was always heating, but which never cooked anything."
I know that a lot has been cooked through all the heat in my life and
yes there is some times when the ol doors on the furnace are opened
that a few close by get singed but it's better than a cold furnace.
I choose to be hot because Jesus likes it hot, lukewarm and cold
hearts are spit out of His mouth.
Ya, I'm a hot tamale, not always right but at least I've got a pulse
and will own my words.
Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. -Jesus
Truth is sharp, it cuts and it exposes and it often comes out of someones mouth, in fact, Jesus describes His own mouth as having a sword coming out of it in Rev. 2;16.
My intent is not to harm someone personaly, so if you have been hurt by the posts here, that isn't my intent. But I do stand by the issues being raised here, even if the manner in which I may get the ball rolling is bombastic, it is still critical in my opinion.
The point of the posts are to engage the mind and nothing does that better sometimes than the fire of anger. I know that anger isn't pc in the church and we are all supposed to handle each other with mittens but I think fire can fuel massive shifts without leading to sin.
Anger isn't sin.
A whip has been released in the temple before
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
I know that all this ranting seems odd coming from a metrosexual influenced male but...I still stand by my thoughts.
I don't doubt that many men have and will be ministered too by all kinds of music be it soft or gooey.
But I do think there needs to be some serious refection from the female side of the aisle concerning the feminization of church.
I am sure as women you most likely don't see that, but as a man I do. Now that is my opinion and you are free to not share it.
As a person with some influence I see it as my privilege to draw attention to subjects, issues and perspectives that often get overlooked.
I am not afraid to dig into the challenges that if we are honest, do have an impact on the reach of our ministries.
Heart issues and response to God are critical but so are the simple actions, patterns and practices that we do in church.
They both affect the person we are trying to reach or build up.
And I don't think it can be summed up as a style issue either.
Content, be it theological or emotive, are important issues when looking at the message or the way we are teaching people to approach or interact or view God.
Contrary to the female DJ on the Christian radio station Power 101.9...I don't think Jesus is my valentine...that is soooooo cheesy and sooooo girlie, and a prime example of how sissy this whole Christian world has become. In my opinion.
Let the pounding begin...I can take it.
I met with the Public relations guys today at the new venue. They are on board and stoked about the conference, so thumbs up for that hurdle.
Scott Gurule is on board as well.
Money...that's the next hurdle but I have a plan. ;)
Pray for favor and/or send us some money to make this year happen.
An investment in this generation is worth every dollar!
We don't charge anything for this awesome conference and we don't make a penny either. All funds go to creating a weekend that changes lives and advances the purposes of God for this generation. Everything is done by faith, hard work and the generosity of those who have a vision to empower, inspire and release the emerging generations.
It's an adventure that never disappoints.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Sometimes I find myself saying: I sound gay singing this stuff.
Do I have to be Clay Akin to join in the songs today?
When did we have to become women to worship?
Why don't we just hand out skirts to all the men when they come in the sanctuary so they will fit in with all the hand waving, body swaying, flowery words and looks of summertime glee that are floating around the room. Liberatche would be proud.
I think we need some John Wayne worship leaders back in the saddle to drive out all this sissy talk.
Lets write some songs that men can sing without blushing please. Put some masculinity back into the worship and maybe we would see more men returning to our churches. But then again why do we have to sing all the time anyway? Is it really needed at every service? Singing, sharing, talking, confessing, hugging...all very tough hurdles for men to get over. Does anyone else see this or am I just loony?
Small groups where men are supposed to share with a bunch of women in the room? Please! Give me a break, most men can't share with their wives even knowing they will get better sex or more sex if they do! We want men to share with no prospect of sex at all. We are nuts.
I know that my thoughts probably tick some people off but I honestly think these things a lot. If I have to become Shirley Temple to fit in with this religious crowd than you can count me out. I have a friend who calls some of this stuff by the name: ESS (Empty Scrotum Syndrome). I have to agree, especially when I see so many men not only losing their masculinity during worship but being led around by their wives like a bunch of mamma's boys. Now I am no woman hater or chauvinist and I am all for women's rights and all that stuff but please I don't have to become a woman to support women do I?
When did men lose their right to be men. When did the church become so soft and cuddly and more concerned about feelings than acts. The modern church wouldn't even write a book of the bible called ACTS it would be called The book of sharing or caring or something else pitifully emasculating.
Ugh it all so pretty all the time. How about someone designing a church that doesn't look like the Fab Five put it together. Where is the stone, the wood, some steel, some concrete...give me something Norwegian that evokes the Viking spirit in me. Something that stirs me and the deep masculine powers that reside in my spirit, put there by God himself to be expressed and experienced as much as all the feminine qualities that are essential to a whole life.
Will someone wear something that had to be killed to be made into an outfit. What ever happened to the American male? Now we got a whole lot of shemales dancing around the altar. Please no more soft clothes, pretty smelling scents and tender hands at the foyer or I am going to start a church in a saloon.
Monday, February 13, 2006
I think there is way to much to ignore these days. Most words spoken are fluff, the float away after being burped out nonchalantly. They don't have weight or an edge to them that sink them deep into the soul or the heart or the mind. Too much of our conversations are forgetable. Too many sermons are dismissed with a yawn because they have about as much fire in them as a Christmas lightbulb, sure they make everything look pretty but couldn't resuscitate a freezing heart.
I find myself bored too often. Bored of small thinking, small dreaming and shallow living. Bored of the temperature of most people I meet. They have no grit, not fire, no spunk. They are bland or artificial like human splenda. Give me some dark chocolate people, souls with a kick. People whose lips are spicy with smoldering passions lit from heavens coals. Give me someone who lights up a room and doesn't put out the light by their shadowy countenance. Merely mists that dampen everything alive are most souls. You would never know that their God was once known as a consuming fire.
I want more crazy ones to lead because the safe and balanced ones are causing a spiritual petrification to set in. Everything is hardening and what once was fluid and free has become stagnant and crusty. Give me some ideas that excite me, that challenge me, that make me want to do anything to make them come to pass. Throw out the stuff that dentures can chew and put something on the table that requires some sharp teeth.
Dream something that when spoken only spiritual ears can hear it and only spiritual eyes can see it and all that walk with neither, will simply laugh at the idea.
Friday, February 10, 2006
In the lion's mouth
The frozen sky has fallen deep,
Crystallizing over the possibilities.
Future beckons safety, promises security,
But her pockets are deceptively empty.
Wind howling, blood freezing in my veins,
Searching for something worth fighting,
A reason for dying.
Dark is the pit, unseen is the prowler,
Groaning and moaning waft up from the unknown,
A haunting melody, that awakens a cooling ember in my chest.
I hear your breathing though I can't see you.
I feel your hunger pressing on my skin,
Your saliva is watering the ground of our meeting.
I will descend into this crypt to wrench from the jaws of death,
A little more life worth living.
With each step closer I am more alive than if I dared to retreat.
My vision is clearing, each sound is magnified and every scent
I have passed from the living dead...through the womb of valor.
Benaiah...went down also and slew a lion in a pit on a snowy day.
-2 Samuel 23:20
Have I not commanded you?
Be strong, vigorous and very courageous.
Be not afraid, neither be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
I've got scars from such encounters, scars on the inside.
Jumping in pits, chasing lions, grabbing them by the beard.
Seeking to rescue lambs from predators devouring jaws.
I've seen the darkness of the pits that such predators dwell within.
I've felt frozen ground...inopportune circumstances for battle.
I've felt the vile breath of the lion on my face.
I've descended...and ascended again.
I've hunted for the lair of the devourer and entered.
I have found this promise to be true...He is with you wherever you go.
Even into lions dens.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
What you are tomorrow, you are becoming today.
I think this quote applies to so many dimensions of life. It's a basic
law that what you sow, you will reap and Paul warns us in the same
verse to not be deceived about this principle of truth. God won't be
mocked concerning it. It is true and solid and you can build upon it
with the confidence that you will not be disappointed because God won't
So what are you sowing?
What are you becoming today?
Tomorrows vision won't come about without today's action.
By putting off the work that needs to be done today, you are simply
pushing your dream farther out into the future. You will only apprehend
what you comprehend needs to be accomplished now.
You KNOW what is your NOW...but only you can activate the faith needed
to begin creating that reality through the means God has given you. He
wouldn't inspire you and not give you the tools to begin in some way
with that spark of passion.
If you can see it, than you can be it.
But the dream will fight you.
Like Jacob wrestling the angel, you will have to fight for the
blessing. Your dream is the antagonist and you must pin it to win it.
Or like Joshua on the edge of his first conquest at Jericho. You always
encounter God with a sword drawn. You can't win without a fight. When
Joshua asked if the "man" was for him or his adversaries the man said:
Because the dream is God's not ours. We are called to embody His dream
for our lives and in order to become that, we have to fight to live it.
We want God to give us our dreams and He calls us to wrestle for them.
They will frustrate you, they will test you, they will hurt you and
break you and make you walk with a limp.
The dream of God is the very anvil that your life will be hammered out
It is designed to shape you and that process requires fire and many,
many mighty blows.
So go ahead, dare to dream but then dare to begin to live the dream.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Lord willing, I want to hold our BLAZE Youth Conference here this year:
It's a neutral city friendly site, top of the line facilities,
recording capabilites on site, excellent cafe and very cool atmosphere.
I will meet with the facilities people hopefuly this week to get the
ball moving. Pray we would have favor, I think this is the year to take
it up a few notches for BLAZE.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
Sir Francis Drake -1577
(Hijacked from Scott at: http://scott.club365.net)
It's the Jewish nature as well to struggle and fight: the name Israel
means: "He who wrestles with God." We do not blithely accept injustice,
plagues, or hardship...it's not over until it's over and until it's
over, it's our job to fight back with every fiber in our being. -Rabbi
Shmuley Boteach (Facing your Fears, 151)
The ordinary man is passive...against major events he is as helpless
as against the elements. So far from endeavoring to influence the
future, he simply lies down and lets things happen to him. -George
Around 70 percent of the Psalms are complaints and lamentations to
God. I don't think it ends there but I do think much can begin there.
Until we face realty and the challenges we experience living in real
life and really articulate them, speak them, meditate on them we are
Fantasy land is often visited frequently in religious meeting and
conversations. We like to think we are already in heaven but the truth
is we are not, we are right here on this fallen planet and that means
we are going to have to stop pretending that everything is all right
and everyone is going to be ok. Because even though that might be true
eternally for now it means we are going to have to fight.
It's a nasty fight sometimes too. Life doesn't fight fair, the devil
isn't a nice guy and people can be really selfish, cruel and hard
hearted. Face it, deal with it and find a way to move on through it...I
tell myself, or...
You can be swallowed by it all and let the life in you be strangled.
You can become dull as a butter knife and hide in your couch with the
blare of the tv set drowning out any thoughts of hope, faith or
prophetic anticipation. You can be beaten or disqualified and choose to
bury yourself in the appetites of your flesh until you lose sight of
your destiny and all you can see is falling shadows.
I choose to smile a wicked smile...broken teeth and all.
Yes the boot of life can hurt but only you can determine if it will
kick your butt or not.
Don't give away your power. Not to a man or a woman, not to a memory
or a failure.
Don't let Delilah gouge out your eyes by forcing you to give up that
spark that lies deep inside your breast.
Don't be coddled into passivity, rocked into ambivalence, or seduced
Fight the good fight and sucker punch if you have too!