Men of a Certain Age...

I've been watching the new TV series called "Men of a Certain Age". If you are a man and you are not watching this show...start. I am not saying its a Focus on the Family show...it's not...but its the first show on men's lives that I actually think is wrestling with a lot of truth. I am thinking about using it for a men's group. Watch the show...and then talk. I think this weeks show about marriage, cheating, failure and faithfulness was some of the most enlightening tv I've seen in a real long time. These are the conversations men should be having.

A true man...is crucified upside down.

"The LORD is a warrior; The LORD is His name." -Exodus 15:3

In 2000, I turned 30...and the above image was my most visceral archetype of God, my faith and the struggle to become the man, God had made me to be. Looking back at turning 30, it seems to be a dark time. It was a season of immense introspection and projection. What I thought were my enemies that were presenting me from rising, accomplishing and expanding...were more often my own personal demons. I thought I had a war to fight...and yet, the one that was raging the most fierce was really in my own soul.

Issues of masculinity, the role of becoming a man, was more a search for my own identity than anything as I reflect. I gravitated to images and portions Scripture that undergirded this inner identity journey. I don't think I used scripture as much as the scriptures allowed me to inhabit images that sustained or explained my path and my heart. The stories and pictures of God became more like totems that empowered me...light that guided me and food that nourished me. But as the years moved on...I see that what propelled me at one season...becomes detrimental in another. One face of God...isn't all the faces of God.

The Apostle John references: Children, Young Men and Fathers in 1 John 2:13...a triunity of manhood...phases perchance of the development of the soul of a man? I see a development in my inner life that moves from weakness to strength to weakness again. But where I used to think the ascension was the pinnacle....I am now wondering if it isn't the descent that is the true path of real power.

Much of our spiritual journey is most honestly a quagmire of self-interest....masked in conscious or unconscious self worship. Life will reveal that as it erodes away that armor we vainly attempt to hide ourselves behind. We dress ourselves up in success, education, achievements, fame, status, material possessions and a myriad of other image bolstering outer garments. We are consumed with how we appear to others....we spend billions of dollars on sucking out, pumping up, coloring, painting, sliming, trimming and primping ourselves for show. We become more desperate and grasp at push up bras, viagra, implants and transplants...as gravity starts overpowering our natural genetics and youthful metabolisms. We are slaves to the machines...the workout machines. All in the name of health...or....self...sometimes its really hard to see the difference. Is it any more harmful to exhaust your body on a machine till you piss blood or gag yourself with your finger and throw up lunch? I think not.

We want to change the world, make our mark, leave a name worth remembering...and yet, the fragility of life, the abruptness of death...constantly remind us that our lives must be about something more meaningful than the type of car I drive, the size of my church or the smallness of my butt.
As I face forty this upcoming year...Im finding more and more identification with the last words of Jesus to Peter...than the passages devoted to the handsome, roof-top gazing, woman stealing, head chopping, army leading, ballad belting romeo...named David.

"I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!" -John 21:18-19

I see the wisdom of the passage above and how speaking it to Peter, the rugged, fiery, sword wielding, self-made man....wasn't just a prophecy of his manner of death but also of the way that leads to life. I see a mystery in the slow death of the seed...that I pray to God I will be born anew in life everlasting...in this age and the one to come.

I think Peter got it...and his request to be put to death differently than Jesus...was a blossoming of humility's fruit. He no longer was the point of existence...he had decreased...so that Jesus might increase.

Yes, a true man...is crucified upside down.

The Warrior-Poets....

"Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane? Do you make him leap like a locust, striking terror with his proud snorting? He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength, and charges into the fray. He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; he does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles against his side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground; he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds. At the blast of the trumpet he snorts, 'Aha!' He catches the scent of battle from afar, the shout of commanders and the battle cry." -Job 39:19-25

I watched Braveheart last night with Destiny and Micah last night. I had to edit some for Micah but decided to let him get a bit more reality to sword play than Oblivion or "Runescape" gives. They both had reactions that I didn't expect. Destiny said she felt the "love story" was underdeveloped, leaving her feeling like that plot line didn't give much energy to the motive of the movie. Micah said he thought William Wallace was too much of a murderer.

I can see their points and have pondered the truth in Micah's perception of the man, William Wallace. I was tender towards his innocence at seeing the movie in light of his child heart and mind. Kids have a gift at seeing issues more simply and often more truthfully. Having a childlike heart is representative of Kingdom life...but so is learning to leave childish thinking and things behind. It's a path of maturing that hopefully produces a man with a good heart, a wise mind and hands of action.

Sophie marceau "Braveheart Trailer"
Uploaded by GO-GO-STALIN. -

But I imagine that fine line of solider and murderer is hard to define in battle...a fact, that often leads to so much Post Traumatic Stress for warriors. The glamorization of war is a fixation in our culture. There is a tough line between gladiatorial blood lust and the value of upholding heroes, patriots and men and women of valor who have fought for justice, truth and righteousness. Instilling a proper value for defending the weak, standing up for the oppressed and fighting for good is a challenge as a Christian father.

I saw this video the other day, that shows a bully provoking a kid who didn't want to fight and tried to get out of it but ends up having to deal with the situation. It's a scene I've seen countless times and been in myself, more than once.
Kid Teaches Shirtless Bully a Lesson

I've thought a lot about the process of raising young men and where the line is between being a battle thirsty warmonger or a spineless, cowering pacifist. Outworking the obvious masculine propensity for strength, action, risk and a deep inner sense of justice...the whole cocktail of traits common to a bloodstream coursing with testosterone.

At the end of the movie, Gibson, quotes these words in reflecting on the journey of his people and their battle against the English:

"In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields of Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen and won their freedom." ~Braveheart

I looked up that phrase: Warrior-Poet, because it captured a tension that I thought represented what I was struggling with. Here is the definition:

"The Warrior-Poet is the several thousand-year-old tradition of dedication to developing the body and the mind as one. The bushido warrior code of ancient Japan, the Shambhala teachings of Tibet, the chivalrous knights of medievil Europe, and the ancient Greek warriors are all examples of this proud tradition. The Warrior-Poet retains a myeriously ancient auora, a member of the leadership class who guides with wisdom and courage. They are defined by their dedication to their crafts of warfare, and intellectual study and reflection. The Warrior-Poet learns to develop the mind and the body as one, using each to guide the other. The Warrior-Poet is also a spiritual warrior. The warrior-poet understands their true relationship to the heaven and the earth. They understand that they embody the heavenly representation to the earth, and the earthly representation to the heavens. In other words, it is up to the warrior-poet to balance the cruel realities of the earth, while living by the standards of the heavens." (from: wiki.answers.com)

The other day, i was faced with a situation where I had to go talk to someone and I knew the subject matter was probably volatile. I didn't want confrontation or drama but I knew that I had to face the person for the benefit of others. I found myself praying for grace as I attempted to deal with the injustice of the situation. I swallowed my fear of the unknown outcome and moved forward in the same posture of a warrior...no bloodshed but a victory was one and it required courage. It was no epic Braveheart battle but it was a situation that required a brave heart.

"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;
remove the evil of your deeds from My sight cease to do evil,
Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless,
defend the orphan, plead for the widow.
-Isaiah 1:16-17

The "Harlequinized" Jesus....

I think there has always been a "Romancing Jesus Movement" going on in the history of the church, but I think it might be picking up steam. The early mystics (St. John of the Cross, Madame Guyon, St. Teresa of Avila, Boneaventure, even more modern folks like Meister Eckhart, George Fox, Gene Edwards etc...) built or build upon, a type of devotional "Bridal Theology" and its sacred fragrances and tinkling sonata's are in full bloom these days.

I think there is merit in some of the sacred romance side of spirituality but I think too much of it and one's spiritual compass point becomes dangerously "me centered" or "Jesus is my boyfriend" type of Christianity.

The worship movement has promoted a lot of this "Jesus is my lover" imagery. I think in a broken and isolated culture, where individualism has eroded a sense of community and the home front has suffered a relational hemorrhage....people turn to God in ways and on levels, that is understandable, but almost idolatrous. The prophet Ezekiel was outright lewd in his descriptions of this fully grown, type of idolatrous and self focused faith (Ez 16); so much so, if I typed it here...some of your internet filters would block this site!

But another more tragic but real issue, is the lack of godly men. Let's face it, most of us married men are spiritual blocks of wet wood.

What Christian woman wouldn't be tempted to start turning to Jesus more and more to meet her marital needs. Many women are left cold by their spiritually disinterested mates and alot of that hunger is projected onto the Heavenly Man called Jesus...who of course is every woman's perfect husband.

It all starts feeling really weird and plenty of men have caught their wives in what feels like some spiritual affair with an unseen Man...who is always there, never hurts them and practically never talks back, at least audibly. He's always "listening" and they usually get to tell you what He is saying to them, because no one else can hear Him. They generate songs to Him, write poetry about Him, chatter, tweet and blog about Him and live in an ever growing bridal anticipation of His coming to rescue them from the evil dragons; and sweep them off to His castle in the sky. Who wouldn't fall in love with Him?
It's from that sincere, but often "Harlequinized" version of Christianity, that the first picture above, can sometimes grow out of.

Now I know I run the risk of offending or even hurting some who would read this, by even hinting at some of this type of stuff. Understand, I'm trying to address the over-emotional, gushy stuff that is hanging like a cloud of bad K-Mart perfume over many churches and believers lives. I reconginze that there is a legitimate place for single people to "devote themselves" to the Lord:

"The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." -1 Corinthians 7:34-35

The key word that my thoughts revolve around is that word "appropriate" in the verse above. I think if husbands were honest and men in general spoke openly about it...many would either admit the inner sense of jealousy, guilt or competition or on the other hand would confess that they have abdicated the role willingly, because Jesus is just so much better at it than they are. Both situations fail to nurture that healthy married or single lives God desires us to be moving towards.

In the end...I think some women need to end their emotional affairs and do the hard work of loving the men they can see, instead of the One they cant. And a lot of men need to reengage their spiritual lives, strip off that lazy outer man garment and become the God lover their ladies crave.

Thank God, I found a women who has beautifully discovered the healthy balance of devotion to Christ and love of her husband. God increase her tribe...the men and women of this era need a godly splash of cold water.

Oh, and no disrespect to the artist who drew the first painting, Im sure it came from a sincere place, my thoughts are meant to cast like on the subject matter I dealt with.

Manhood: in need of an Archetype...

"A man must go on a quest,
to discover the sacred fire,
in the sanctuary of his own belly,
to ignite the flame in his heart,
to fuel the blaze in the hearth,
to rekindle his ardor for the earth.
-Sam Keen

This is a early shot of a painting I am working on that embodies the imagery of Ezekiel 10:1-22, the four faced (man, ox, lion, eagle) beings. I am using this as an archetype image for some men's stuff I am working on and some Youth to Teen to Manhood rites of passage material I am writing. It's an attempt to formulate some rites of passage events and material to help the process of maturity in my own sons lives, and in our faith community. I desire to see the fathering/eldering role strengthened in our community. Having values, traditions and a meaningful passage process for developing young men and men who carry the passion for authentic manhood to be passed on. I know this area is fit with psychological and sociological pitfalls, theological overemphasis and down right bizarre chest beating, testosterone worship. But I also see a cultural drift that is at play that is producing more and more identity confusion, role ambiguity and life skill underdevelopment among young men.

I see more and more insecurity, fear, trepidation, inability to make life decisions, submerged masculinity, laziness, lack of creativity, meaningless goals, lack of life vision and the internal fire to create new realities. The glazed over disinterest, blah like yawn, the tv daze, the internet gaming escapism and all the vicarious entertainment self medicating that is going on.

There is a monotonous monogamy that is plaguing men and the languishing lusting that is replacing it is undermining marriages and its becoming more and more viral. Men are in a quagmire of numbing banalities that have softened the wall of manhood into a penetrable and porous familial gate. Manhood no longer stands erect as a cultural barrier to the erosion and corrosion of the image of God in man. Many men are clueless about where to go, how to get there and why they should even wake from their trojan stupor. Fatherlessness is rampant as men drift without a compass or purpose...and the encroaching pointlessness of manhood is excruciating....especially in the church.

As our leaders continue to parade an example of infidelity, corruption, deception, greed, power hungry self service and abusive disregard for life, the world and the future...the situation is ripe for a return to the ancient wisdom of generational passage.

In this work, we need images, stories, examples, patterns, guides, voices, lights and willing sages that will engage the hard work of soul formation. Men who will hold to their dependance on God, His word, cultural wisdom, life experiences, naked faith and the ever moving work of the Spirit. We need images that remind us, awaken us, move and haunt us. We need Bards and Poets to recapture the art of storytelling for transformation.

I'm using the Ox, Eagle, Lion and the Man, to form a literary archetype for the passing of wisdom. This becomes a trellis to build upon as we engage consciously and unconsciously in the act of raising sons to become men and helping men discover the purpose of manhood.

Archetype: noun
1. the original pattern or model from which all things of the same kind are copied or on which they are based; a model or first form; prototype.
2. (in Jungian psychology) a collectively inherited unconscious idea, pattern of thought, image, etc., universally present in individual psyches.

"Life is a storm. You will bask in the sunlight one moment - and be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when the storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout, 'Do your worst, for I will do mine!' Then the fates will know you as we know you - A MAN!"
- The Count of Monte Cristo

UFC 91: Brock Lesnar Vs Randy Couture

Saturday at 7PM,
Spokane Gentleman's Society has been invited to crash the UFC event hosted by the manly men of Kaleo Church, UFC 91 will be on the big screen!
They are located at:
Kaleo
4904 N. Harvard Rd. #4
Otis Orchards, WA 99027
Email Justin Bryeans (justinbryeans@gmail.com) for GPS coordinates, singlets, wrestling cups, teeth guards or to ask anymore questions.

Pizza will be consumed.

Good bye to a bromance...

Well, you wouldn't think by the looks of this damage from my recent accident...but the insurance company determined my Suburban to be "totaled". So basically my rig and I parted ways today in a sad ceremony in a cold parking lot. Me standing there mourning and yet remembering when my manhood was returned, the day I handed over the keys of our maroon minivan to the dealership and stepped into this beauty.

Oh the memories...no more pretending to drive like a man in the woods...now I have 4x4 power. No more shame, no more wondering if it snows if I can get out and drive. Yes, that was a good day indeed. Yes, there's nothing like pulling jet skiis, or driving with a canoe on top of your roof, or hauling stuff to the dump in a rig. Throwing your dog in the back and hauling about 40 kids with your elbow out the window and the country music playing...ah the good Inland Northwest life.

It was slightly shocking when they drove her out of the shop to allow me the chance to unload my stuff and say goodbye.But there she stood...her front end, topless. Her grill all torn open and her exposed lights sagging.. I felt like I was dropping her off at the pound.

I'm really thinking...

Honda Shadow/Spirit 750 (VT750C28)

Spokane Gentleman's Society Next meeting...in August

What makes a man...a man?
We will be hosting another Spokane Gentleman's Society meeting to delve into the subject. It should be interesting, more info here

New blog

Spokane Gentleman's Society blog: www.spokanegentlemanssociety.blogspot.com

anti-beardites...

Every man has to grow some facial hair at sometime in his life. I could grow a full beard at 15...helped me buy beer and get older babes and hid a lot of zits. I have had various conglomerations of facial hair styles through the years, some from the chart above. But facial hair has an on again off again popularity. Most people are anti-beardites...especially women. But the time has come to allow what is left of the testosterone to bloom upon the naked boulder of my chin and sprout all its briar like glory...at least until LeeElla wont come near me anymore.