Bright Star....

I've been waiting for a break in our too busy lives to take LeeElla to this movie. Finally this weekend, we were able to steal some time from others and shared a amazing corned beef sandwich called the Hooligan & Hannigan and a great Black & Tan at O' Doherty's Pub. Then we watched Bright Star at The Magic Lantern, our local independent theater, which is only $5 too. Then we enjoyed dinner at Isabella's with some friends.

I loved, loved, loved...the movie. It is right up there with "Once", another must see romantic/drama movie. Bright Star combined a number of my most favorite things and did so with such a intimate, artistic sensitivity that left me actually slightly breathless at times. The director was an artist and his ability to weave, sound, music, color, feelings, passion, anticipation and all the cadences of love...was superb. As one given to poetry both writing and reading, and being a romantic at heart...drank deeply from this movie.

It's PG but that doesn't mean there wasn't some of the most sensual and passionately charged moments...there was, even though there was no nudity, sex or typically oversexed content. They masterfully captured "longing" and left you aching in love's riptides.

Needless to say...I was enraptured.

It's slow, methodical, character driven, poetic and all about a heart tingling romance...if that's not your thing...you're dead...or at least need reviving.


Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.
-John Keats

The "Harlequinized" Jesus....

I think there has always been a "Romancing Jesus Movement" going on in the history of the church, but I think it might be picking up steam. The early mystics (St. John of the Cross, Madame Guyon, St. Teresa of Avila, Boneaventure, even more modern folks like Meister Eckhart, George Fox, Gene Edwards etc...) built or build upon, a type of devotional "Bridal Theology" and its sacred fragrances and tinkling sonata's are in full bloom these days.

I think there is merit in some of the sacred romance side of spirituality but I think too much of it and one's spiritual compass point becomes dangerously "me centered" or "Jesus is my boyfriend" type of Christianity.

The worship movement has promoted a lot of this "Jesus is my lover" imagery. I think in a broken and isolated culture, where individualism has eroded a sense of community and the home front has suffered a relational hemorrhage....people turn to God in ways and on levels, that is understandable, but almost idolatrous. The prophet Ezekiel was outright lewd in his descriptions of this fully grown, type of idolatrous and self focused faith (Ez 16); so much so, if I typed it here...some of your internet filters would block this site!

But another more tragic but real issue, is the lack of godly men. Let's face it, most of us married men are spiritual blocks of wet wood.

What Christian woman wouldn't be tempted to start turning to Jesus more and more to meet her marital needs. Many women are left cold by their spiritually disinterested mates and alot of that hunger is projected onto the Heavenly Man called Jesus...who of course is every woman's perfect husband.

It all starts feeling really weird and plenty of men have caught their wives in what feels like some spiritual affair with an unseen Man...who is always there, never hurts them and practically never talks back, at least audibly. He's always "listening" and they usually get to tell you what He is saying to them, because no one else can hear Him. They generate songs to Him, write poetry about Him, chatter, tweet and blog about Him and live in an ever growing bridal anticipation of His coming to rescue them from the evil dragons; and sweep them off to His castle in the sky. Who wouldn't fall in love with Him?
It's from that sincere, but often "Harlequinized" version of Christianity, that the first picture above, can sometimes grow out of.

Now I know I run the risk of offending or even hurting some who would read this, by even hinting at some of this type of stuff. Understand, I'm trying to address the over-emotional, gushy stuff that is hanging like a cloud of bad K-Mart perfume over many churches and believers lives. I reconginze that there is a legitimate place for single people to "devote themselves" to the Lord:

"The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." -1 Corinthians 7:34-35

The key word that my thoughts revolve around is that word "appropriate" in the verse above. I think if husbands were honest and men in general spoke openly about it...many would either admit the inner sense of jealousy, guilt or competition or on the other hand would confess that they have abdicated the role willingly, because Jesus is just so much better at it than they are. Both situations fail to nurture that healthy married or single lives God desires us to be moving towards.

In the end...I think some women need to end their emotional affairs and do the hard work of loving the men they can see, instead of the One they cant. And a lot of men need to reengage their spiritual lives, strip off that lazy outer man garment and become the God lover their ladies crave.

Thank God, I found a women who has beautifully discovered the healthy balance of devotion to Christ and love of her husband. God increase her tribe...the men and women of this era need a godly splash of cold water.

Oh, and no disrespect to the artist who drew the first painting, Im sure it came from a sincere place, my thoughts are meant to cast like on the subject matter I dealt with.

What is the ideal "Christian" woman....?

I included in my last post a link to a ministry that is connected with Sovereign Grace Ministries they hold the same views as people like Mark Driscoll and the Mars Hill movement. They represent a very virile group of mission minded people, biblically conservative and generally culturally liberal...but these issues seem to bring out their more hard fundamentalist edge.

I and many I pastor and journey with...don't fit to well in these one-size fits all man/woman role perimeters. The language, the look, the perspective, the theological bent, the Complementarianism view of man over women, the "stay at home with the babies only" message...all start to feel very culturally isolated. It sometimes feels like modern folks trying to be Little House on the Prairie. Not that I dont think the values represented aren't often godly...but it always seems to be a way of living that is more comfortable for people who live white, pink and pastel lives. I'm not sure how to translate these ideas, to a people who don't speak that language or have those life experiences. I wrestle with the message itself...if it is even a fair representation of the ONLY way to live out modesty, family and holistic sexuality.

On the 'Girls Talk' site, they give this definition for modesty/propriety:
"The avoidance of clothing and adornment that is extravagant, showy, and sexually enticing.”

The actual dictionary definition is more broad and less narrow:

Modesty: freedom from vanity or conceit

Propriety: correct or appropriate behavior


I see a lot more room to outwork these words in the actual definition. The one they offer, seems to play into the way they see womanhood. Not that I oppose anyone who desires to model or follow that vision. You are free to do so...but isnt there room for creative and moral freedom in those words...maybe an alternative expression of modesty, that would be attainable to the woman represented in the first picture of my previous post?

I think there's a danger in people swinging to far away from their old lifestyles when they come to faith. They imagine that "the opposite" of all they did or was...is the answer for living this new life. It's easy to latch onto legalism or moralism to try to self-clean or self-sanctify....we try to become something different through radical lifestyle changes. We go STRAIGHT-EDGE not as a expression of some true change within but in order to show we are serious about being different. In the end...it might be sad to discover that everything you did to be "moral, good, different, traditional or even biblical...was really vanity. So in the very act of trying to be Modest...you betrayed the very spirit of modesty.

It was the failure of the Jewish leaders that Jesus sought to enlighten...and it is often the failure of moral based religious zealotry.

Many times it can become an act of sowing fig leaves to cover our shame...instead of trusting in the blood of God's ultimate sacrifice.

We find ourselves back in Eden...naked and...and still ashamed.

Painting is "Minerva" by Rodin

19

"In a moment two become one.
Two lives become one heart.
Two roads become one path.
Two journeys become one adventure.
With you, one moment has become a lifetime."
-E.M

LeeElla and I celebrate 19 years of marriage today...we got married when we were 19 too.
I Love you babe....I've been with you half my life...and its been the best half...that gives me so much hope for the later days of our journey together.

Suddenly you flare in my sight...

Wild Rose
Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart.

Suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,

and once again I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.

-by Wendell Berry, for his wife

I didn't write it, but I found it...like a flower.
...and it says perfectly, what I feel.

Masticating Marley & Me....

LeeElla, Micah, Austin and cousin Braydon and I watched Marley & Me the other night and I really enjoyed it; even though it was a modern Old Yeller in the emotional sense. The previews played it off more like a comedy, cute dog flick...but I felt it was much more than that. Dog ownership is perfectly portrayed in this film, the good, the bad and the ugly. Marriage, raising little ones and the complexities of navigating the mid life spinning compass, is nailed as well.

Now it might be that Im a dog owner/lover, have 4 kids (none nicknamed: "Whoops") and Im almost 40; but I thought there were some deep issues being outworked in this movie. Even though some of the subject matter was for more mature audiences (marital fights, miscarriage, sorrow etc) I felt it was good for my young ones to watch, feel and think about the situations presented in the movies. I will have my older ones watch it too, especially to demystify the romanticism that is often associated with relationships and marriage in most movies.

During the movie it evoked a number of questions from the kids: "Did you ever have a miscarriage? Why did the baby die? Do dogs go to heaven? Are babies really that hard? Good stuff. Of course I held Micah in my arms during the last quarter of the movie when the real drama hits, lots of tears...but I think, tears are good. Feeling sorrow is part of life, death and loss are sufferings that we all will face. Pretending that all stories have happy endings is not being honest about the world we live within. But there is nothing better than experiencing those moments together...and even films can help us prepare for the cups we will have to drink.

Kissing with eyes open...

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly."
-Rose Franken

I pray the fire thats already there would create hot steam, that would lift us up and out of the ordinary. That together we can take more times up and out.

Not because what is normal isn’t good, but simply because we could use some new perspectives, new sights from new heights.

We need things that seem so big, to become small again.

It would do us good to see the sun rise or set, in a different place.

To taste morning and evening, somewhere else.

To make more lines in our face because we’ve laughed too much; instead of worrying, fretting and bearing loads to heavy for younger souls.

I want to grow jolly with you...not just older.

I want to see your eyes sparkle more...they’ve been eclipsed by too many clouds for too long....and I want it to be just our simple laughter that drives the storms away...on earth before it is in heaven.

I want to kiss you more and more this year, because your so damn cute...not just because you set me on fire.

I want to find us laughing together more than apart....more and more from each others arms.

You deserve something magical this year, something worth writing about, or singing songs to express the wonder of what happened.

A fairy-tale of your own...because no princess has ever lain down on any bed, of any castle...that is half the maiden you are.

I want a barrel of wine made just for you...something spicy and strong...but smooth and mild after the taste. Full of head spinning kick that leaves one slightly dizzy and off kilter...kind a like I feel after drinking the wine of your love.

Call the Jesters, summon the minstrels, arrange a feast more and more; for celebrating the joy of our love is simply to much of heaven crammed into a kiss to let quietly drift by...

But, a kiss, you will get...but this year...it’s with eyes open...because a giggle for half my kingdom...is all I can, or want to give.

I love you, Queen of my heart. -Eric

Sex...how equipped are you?

"God makes it clear that there is nothing wrong, and everything right, about sex in marriage. Satan’s great strategy, when it comes to sex, is to do everything he can to encourage sex outside of marriage, and to discourage sex within marriage. It is an equal victory for Satan if he accomplishes either plan!"

I am teaching/preaching through 1 Corinthians and I read this quote above, in David Guzik's commentary on chapter 7. According to this article, almost half of all women have sexual problems. Do you think that as a woman or man, you are adequately equipped (in all ways) to be the best lover you can be?

Where do you think an honest individual, struggling to be the most loving and serving of mates, should learn about this stuff?
Do you think the church should be involved in this day and age?
Do you think you were prepared to enter adulthood by your parents?
Do you think the internet is the best teacher?
Would you ever attend a "seminar or class" on such subjects?
Do you think Passion Parties have a place in the instructive role of equipping married people for healthy sexual lives?

Get In Here Ministries....

I don't know what to say...

Who do you love.....

Here is a chapter out of the little known love story of LeeElla and Eric...naw, just kidding, but this makes me laugh out loud....as a former mullet wearer, come on what do you think LeeElla was attracted too?

18th Year Anniversary

Today marks our 18th year being married....and that was the best decision I have ever made. I pray to God my kids have as wonderful spouse as I am blessed to have in LeeElla. No words can really express the many beauties, graces and blessings that I have experienced in my life through this amazing woman. All I can do is bow in my heart with deep gratitude to the Lord for thinking of me with such a gift. I pray we have the chance to weave another 18 more that will make these last 18 seem like a delicious but simple appetizer. And here is a romantic song for my cowgirl.

A bloodstained coat...

Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD's altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings, and he doesn't accept them with pleasure. You cry out, "Why has the LORD abandoned us?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made to each other on your wedding day when you were young. But you have been disloyal to her, though she remained your faithful companion, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard yourself; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "It is as cruel as putting on a victim's bloodstained coat," says the LORD Almighty. "So guard yourself; always remain loyal to your wife." -Malachi 2:13-16

The issue is this...if you choose to engage in a sexual relationship with someone its an act of good faith. You are saying to that person that you will commit to becoming a family. God designed sex to produce life. God designed man and woman to love each other for life, raise a family and keep the human race from going extinct. So if you get a woman pregnant or get yourself pregnant...welcome to married life. Oneness of spirit and flesh has taken place and from that intimacy...new life is created. Not only the life of the child but a new life for you...you move from single life to married life. Engaging in sex is a consummation to a new life...one of commitment, faithfulness and family.

To end the life of that child who is the result of your choice to enter into a God ordained holy union...is murder.
An act that is the same as putting on a bloodstained coat in God's eyes. So if you want closure in a relationship...start by closing your legs....for the sake of a child at least. If you have had an abortion...repent, turn to Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, get married or stop having sex outside of marriage. If you do get married have some godly children and maybe...adopt a child as an act of moral restitution.

Give another child a chance at having a family.

Diabolical liberty with your knees....

I am so, so sorry, but I have to post this. I know it plays on all the wrong stereotypes of yesteryear concerning men and women relationships but...it's just so funny. Having a teen daughter, this made me laugh.

The widow's bite...

Women who devour their husbands...read it here: www.wildmanpath.blogspot.com