A Red Letter Catastrophe

My 13 year old daughter, Destiny, has her first live gig coming up in June. We are so proud of her.

Still life...

Memories...the past in the present carried into the future.
Reflection bound up in an object
Pieces of a whole..alone incomplete but together they explain

Still life...

Good, bad...ugly, all wrapped up in the shadowy art of disclosure
Travels, battles, scents, hopes and dreams all jumbled together
Strange neighbors...pigs, pipes, pictures and berserkers.
Lights and vapors swirlling around the motionless symphony of being

Still life...

A snapshot, a polaroid, a presentation.
Life never stops but prophets will see, poets pen and painters color,
Time held still for a second, capturing thoughts like dream nets in the window.

Still life...

(Eric Blauer 5.2.08)

We are all...missing something, someone...

The salty french fry....slain by a doctors pen.

A child’s soft fingers, touching the cheek....as if touching the moon.

Lover’s breath...warming the side of ones face....so close you can hear thoughts.

The crunch of snow...when ones legs didn’t seem as brittle as the weak crust of earth.


We are all...missing someone, something...


Laughter, that crinkles noses and sparkles in the eyes like rain drops caught on branches.

Withering but strong hands and the way she brushed her hair back from her face.

How the wind carries the scent of pine off the mountain...rushing over you gently.

The waters, the ripples, the feel of rock on the palm of your hand...the silver glisten.

Some miss clatter, chatter and fussing....others, the quiet, the cricket and the tick tock.

Some miss their breasts, some their teeth, others, miss faces lost in growing dusk.


We are all missing something, someone....


Some miss the toilet, erections and orgasms, the smell of baby powder....or sleep.

The aroma of morning resounding with coffee spoons tinkling white cups and saucers.

The pant of a dog, the tap dancing of four feet....the purr of contentment or the stretch of careless ease by a sunny window pane.

Some miss lips, others their once slimmer hips and some miss all the good tips.

Walking, running or the chance to go up...stairs, ladders and hillsides...are what some miss.

Combs, brushes, hair spray....no need for belts, or wigs, or making up excuses for the reason they are not there anymore....I guess some might not miss.

Some miss families...bedrooms, porches and swings....doors, couches and a place called home.

All of us are missing....someone, something...

-Eric Blauer 5.1.08

5 Poets worth hearing...

In the beginning was the word and...
It brings...communion.
It's full of....Divinity.
Pregnant....with creation and a thousand dawns.
Ever born...it is life.
An eternal light...that illuminates the souls of men.
A sun...by which you can see or become blind.
(A reshuffling of John 1:1-5)

Warning: These poets have something to say and they say it raw, earthy and from the street and its bloody, painful and in your face. Some of it is so deep that you might drown. I hope you do.

Suheir Hammad
We spent 4th of July in bed
Not Your Erotic, Not Your Exotic

Black Ice
Part One
Part Two

Oscar Brown
Children of Children
I Apologize

Rives
Def Jam

Taylor Mali
What Teachers Make

More than a dog...

“The free man owns himself. He can damage himself with either eating or drinking; he can ruin himself with gambling. If he does he is certainly a damn fool, and he might possibly be a damned soul; but if he may not, he is not a free man any more than a dog.” - G.K. Chesterton

Czeslaw Milosz...

Well, well, well, after visiting 4 bookstore's poetry sections and coming up empty, I finally found Polish Poet Czeslaw Milosz's New and Collected Poems (1931-2001). I was stunned by one of his poems I posted on my WILD MAN site, so I had to get my hands on more of his work. I am not disappointed...I think I have found one of my favorite poets.

But one thing I did discover that pangs me deeply...there are four rows of Christian books at Hastings in the Valley and most of them couldn't lift the eyelid of a pubescent schoolboy at Victoria's Secret! And to Hastings shame, there is just a half of a shelf for poetry. And even the poetry that is on that shelf is suspect...I mean, since when is Tupac Shakur and Jewel more important to carry than Milosz? I mean common Spokane.

Does Poetry matter anymore? I believe it does. It's an art of the finest skill to cram all of heaven into a few words. It takes a sermonic alchemist of the highest order to transform a pile of ink into a phoenix of revelation with a simple linguistic nudge. Writing prose is like firing a shotgun...its hit and miss most of the time but poetry is like russian roulette...it only takes one bullet....you never know when it will fire but when it does its deadly.

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul. --George Bernard Shaw, Back to Methuselah

I smell a whore...

I heard another voice from heaven, saying, "Come out of her, my people, so that you will not participate in her sins and receive of her plagues." "All the nations have drunk of the wine of the passion of her immorality and the kings of the earth have had sex with her and become rich by the wealth of her sensuality." She has become a dwelling place of demons and a prison of every unclean and hateful bird. (Revelations 18)

Condom wrappers, purple panties and surgical tube...strange items to find littered at the feet of a beautiful wooded grove. I guess devils and saints find such places perfect for solitude. I was reflecting on my walk through our little neighborhood forest today. In moments like these, I hear a "voice from heaven", a quiet call that is whispered in the cool breeze of the just awakened spring air. It speaks of a tragic emptiness that these unholy sacraments offer. A fleeting pleasure that tastes sweet to the tongue but ends with bitterness in the belly. A brief connection, but not of souls, only of genitals. A wild rush of chemical escape that becomes a noose around the will, not just the arm; a piercing of not only the skin but the spirit. An infusion of fire that kindles in the here and now and grows into a pyre of eternal smoke and flame. This is polluted ground that writhes and moans with twisted contortions of sensuality that lock its victims into a prison. The dirt here smells of sulfur. The gravel is pregnant with talons that prick the flesh like a double barbed hook...easily it goes in...but damned are they that try to pull it out.

"Come out of her" is a biblical sexual reference with all its potent imagery. A pleading as much as a warning, you can hear the desperation in the prophetic sigh. I feel it often walking and living among these homes, hovels and desecrated places, unholy altars to sensuality.

Man-made idols to the Great Whore.

How we get there...

"So when Jesus came, He found that he (Lazarus) had been in the tomb four days." -John 11:17

Jesus was slow.

In fact, one of the "ways" Jesus got things done in His ministry life was by "walking". Strange choice of transportation. You would think that the Messiah would have a 1 century Pope-Mobile or something. Wasn't there places to go, people to see, citiies to evangelize? What kind of admin assistants did He have for dead and dying people's sake?

Didn't he know that "night was coming" and "the time to work was almost gone?" Was walking really the best way to "maximize his ministry"? Are you telling me there wasn't a host of fine, Arabian horses around Palestine that He and his disciples could have used to gallop through Galilee, Judea and Samaria on a city reaching tour? Didn't He know that walking was really slow and not an efficient use of the really small amount of time He had on Earth. Was it really necessary to spread the kingdom via hitchhiking, boating and sightseeing?

Instead of strolling on lakes and riding donkeys and meandering along beaches, instead of hanging out in the country, mountain climbing and camping in the desert...couldn't He have travelled faster, farther and to more places along the famous Roman roads? The very roads that connected the then known world with unparalleled ease?

Walking isn't 'How" you should spread the good news of the Kingdom...not many people will hear it or be able to experience the ministry God gave Him to accomplish.

But to God walking is the means by which we get most things of value done. To God "how" we do something is more important than "what" we get done. It was the same then as today, the how isn't really important to most people...we just want to get something done. The means are justified, if the end is accomplished. We are less concerned about "who" we are, than "what" we do.

I think this is the message of Christ in walking, more than anything. I'm not saying we shouldn't do anything...I think we all long to accomplish much in this age and justice calls for it in the streets. But how we choose to engage that work in the streets is critical to the formation of our soul and the kind of community of faith we become. Jesus heard the call in the streets but according to his disciples He didn't even raise His voice in the streets. He chose to hide more than reveal, He spoke in parables instead of writing out His teaching in clear and concise pamphlets. He told people not to tell others about their miracles instead of sending them off on a "Go and Tell" evangelism campaign.

Yes, He walked...and sometimes people died because He took so long getting there.

His ways are so...not like ours.

I remember taking this picture on one of my canoe trips. I also remember the ski boats whizzing past me in a surge of water and ear splitting noise. I am sure it was fun...but I will never regret the steady, slow, meandering pace of my time in Upper Priest Lake. It was much slower for sure...but in that pace, I experienced life in a way that could only be felt. I came alive because I went slow.

I think less people would stay dead if more people walked like Jesus walked.

Slow is needed today...more than ever.

I wanted to change the world...

"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town.
I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself,
and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself,
I could have made an impact on my family.
My family and I could have made an impact on our town.
Their impact could have changed the nation
and I could indeed have changed the world."
-By Unknown Monk, 1100 A.D.

One of the paths of thought I have been traveling upon lately is the dawning realization that I am facing 40 and many of the ideals that I have pushed towards for so much of my life are probably not going to be realized in the ways that I thought. This was brought home to me yesterday as I was watching my oldest son play drums and my daughter play electric guitar during both of our Sunday worship services. I remembered that for so many years as a youth pastor I had prayed for the Lord to send us great musicians to help us actually play the worship music we longed to hear live instead of on cd's as a youth church. As I was admiring Destiny filling in some sweet notes during the song...the thought occurred to me: We can pray for God to send us a great musician or He can grow a great musician from among us. Both would be a answer to that prayer...but one is far more rich, meaningful to me and rewarding to see...even if it takes longer than we would expect or always think we want. In the end, the Lord has answered that prayer but in a way that I didn't perceive He would.

Isn't that the whole message of the gospels...God coming and doing stuff in ways and with people who we wouldn't expect? I am realizing this "way" is more true than I can ever organize around, plan for or always facilitate...God is more like wind than I can comprehend (John 3).

In fact as a pastor, I am finding that in order to be a faithful and fruitful pastor, I have to be more of a "seer" or "prophet". They are people who spend more time listening and looking than anything else; but occasionally have something to say once those observations form into understanding. This isn't always the best or most accommodating to the current business world model that churches seem to morph towards. The end product is allusive. I find that I can't "change" much at all. I can't awaken desire, impart dreams, open eyes or instill love. I can't create community or eliminate poverty. I can't take back the land, or pull down powers...in fact, I am pretty weak, ignorant and clueless when it comes to figuring it all out.

The older I get the more content and free I am becoming to surrender my world conquering dreams to just simply be...a follower of Jesus.

“The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community even if their intentions are ever so earnest.
But the person who loves those around them will create community.”
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I see two paths as a pastor before me...kind of like Jesus was offered at a lonely time in the desert. One is full of miracles, productivity, needs being met, people being fed. It holds a lot of ascending...it's all about going up, getting higher, taking more ground, getting bigger, rising...all the way up to the pinnacle. It's a really visible place to climb towards. People know you, they call you, they invite you...they want you. But it ends in bowing to things, to people, to a way of life that causes you to lose your soul. You end up losing it all trying to gain it all. I tell you the truth...it is tempting, but it is a lie.

The bread is a lie...it won't fill you.
The pinnacle is a lie...it won't make you feel important.
The bowing is a lie...you won't get it all.

The truth is...hunger, insignificance and not having it all...is the way.

I pray I will continue to choose it.

I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me...

Im the wizz!!

Thanks are in order to my dad for that awesome comment in the He-Man post. I appreciate it deeply. But I couldn't help but think of this clip from Seinfeld after reading all you said about me. I'm grateful for having a father in my life that is able to share so openly, lovingly and publicly...in fact, you did such a great job, I just might have to include that selection of praise in my future Pulitzer Prize acceptance speech...as well as the Wiz King hat.

Steampunk Starwars

Muffin Tops...

When I saw this I thought of this Seinfeld episode....which was one of my favorite ones.

lol

Colbert makes the dogs whine...

A couple days ago, I was watching the Colbert Report and in the opening of the show he was singing the national anthem with some music dude...as he joined the singer in song, Kona sat up and started whimpering. She clearly didn't approve of Colbert's singing, it was hilarious.

Too funny...

Gay or Straight or...huh?

"Contradictions in evangelicalism are clear. Take divorce, for example, a sin Jesus spoke clearly about. The divorce rate of evangelical Christians now surpasses that of the rest of the population in the United States. Evangelicals are getting divorced and gay folks are wanting to get married and the religionists keep accusing homosexuals of destroying the family." -Quote from "Jesus For President" pg 233

We have a neighbor who is a transvestite. Not someone who you wonder about but the obviously man dressed as a women situation. This person usually is talking to himself and acting in a manner that unfortunately draws even more attention to him. I noticed this person walking down the street as our family was working in our yard Saturday. At first I was wondering about how Micah was going to react to seeing this person meandering down the sidewalk in a quite flamboyant way. I felt a tinge of disgust at first but then as he passed by a house on the other side of the street that changed. My disgust turned to concern as I saw a pack of bandana, shaved headed homies come strutting out of the house like wild west gunslingers through a saloon door. They were laughing and pointing at him and for a moment I wondered if they were going to do something violent to this person. There I stood frozen, in a split second I found myself on the verge of coming to the potential defense of this human peacock that was strutting down the street. My feelings went from judgment to compassion, it was an interesting flush of dichotomy. But the potential dance of death passed and everyone went their separate ways...just another afternoon on 5th Ave.

I wrestle at times with the way this world is changing....and my place as a loving disciple of Jesus within it. My community is confronting and challenging me to make room for more and more confused, broken, different, odd, offensive, newly defined cultural situations; that leave me with questions more than answers. It's often a confusing and vulnerable place to be. But love has a way of breaking in unlikely moments and showing that sometimes God has chosen the weak and foolish to confound the strong and the wise. This is a mystery indeed.

Christianized Militarism...

"Having found the atomic bomb, we have used it. We shall continue to use it...It is an awful responsibility which has come to us. We thank God that it (the atomic bomb) has come to us instead of to our ememies and we pray that he may guide us to use it in His ways and for His purposes." -President Harry Truman, after dropping the atomic bomb on Nagasaki, Jan. 9th, 1945 (quote from Jesus for President)

I am currently reading "Jesus for President" and throughly enjoying the engaging and thought provoking material. I find the quote troubling as a follower of the Prince of Peace and the One who will eventually burn in fire every "warrior's boot used in battle ad every garment rolled in blood" (Isaiah 9:2-7). I encourage you to read the book if you find yourself struggling with where faith and politics merge.

Jesus stinks...in a good sort of way.

One of the most moving moments to me in the movie "The Passion of the Christ" is when Peter denies Christ and the film captures that split second when the eyes of Jesus and Peter meet. It happens as Peter is mouthing the denial...and the Lord looks right at him. It's brutal. Last night I had something similar happen at our evening service. Someone before the service made a comment to someone about not doing something "retarded", it was a harmless statement that I heard and joked about how we wouldn't want to do anything labeled "retarded"...I was cleaning up before service and was more mumbling to myself than anything. I said it...as I reflect now...about 3 times.

Then after the service started a man came in that I have never seen before in the neighborhood. He came up to me...looks me in the eye and says hello and then: "I AM RETARDED". It's one of those moments as you are caught eye to eye and you know you are busted. God's got your number...you pulled the shortest straw. He explained to me how he had been to over 100 churches in Spokane and nobody talks to him. He shared how just because he is retarded that doens't mean he isn't going to heaven. He showed me his camera and explained how he likes to take pictures. He asked me if I thought retarded people were going to go to heaven. I felt like a shmuck. He said he was going to have to go catch his bus, asked for a bible and smiled a thousand times...shook my hand a bunch...talked to people during the service and expressed his enjoyment of the songs.

I gave him a cd of worship and he about had a melt down of joy. I felt it was an offering of penance in case this man was really Jesus or an angel sent to fill our sanctuary with the holy incense of BO, mess up our neatly structured flow with the whip of awkwardness, rebuke the pastor with a smile and leave in a whirlwind of divine visitation...all with a poloroid in his hand...I am sure to show me the picture of my "look" someday, when I meet Jesus.

Later someone made a comment after the service about needing to get some fans in the room because of the smell on Sundays...I agreed.

But now I wonder...if that isn't the smell of Jesus.

My head is hung in shame...

If you are white or want to understand "white culture" this site nails it perfectly...oh so sarcastically correct...we are pathetic. God have mercy.

I saw...what I saw.

song by Sara Groves
This song is so moving to me, the lyrics are so deep, especially the last few lines...man, this messed me up. I've been wrestling with the weight of eternity lately and the realization that our days are so few.
"We will have all of eternity to boast about the victories won on the earth, but we have only a few hours left in which to win them ." -author unknown

Confusion, doubt and....false teaching.

So, then just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught...see to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." -Colossians 2:6-8
I am currently engaged in a ongoing sermon series dealing with doubt's about the truth of Christianity and the Bible. After watching this video clip, I am reenergized about the necessity of helping seekers & believers understand the truth of God's word even more. I am not a fan of the "left behindish" flavor of the this clip, its melodramatic and painfully reminiscent of the old "Mark of the Beast" movies in the 80's. But even still, the false teaching the Oprah is presenting is alarming. Scripture warns of being led astray from Christ through men and women who reframe, reinvent, redress and repackage age old lies:
"Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you for the prize. Such a person goes into great detail about what he has seen and his unspiritual mind puffs him up with idle notions. He has lost his connection with the Head (Christ)." -Colossians 2:18-19a

BSG Season 4...

I finally was able to watch my recorded season opener of BSG....my twig fix was oh so delightfully satiated. The whole Baltar messiah thingy is weird, I wonder where they are going with this plot line. He prayed to the 'One true God" for a boy in the episode and he was healed. Of course the mixing of sexuality and spirituality is problematic...spirituality is now hot and sexy I guess. One of my problems with the show is the blatant sexism of only having pretty chicks being all over the Galatica not to mention the Cylon vixens. The obnoxious playing to the demographic is so juvenile. But other than that the show is a mature look at contemporary issues with great acting and amazing special effects. It's not a show for the kiddies or anyone who is not comfortable with PG-13 or almost R type movies the subject matter is adult in both intensity and life situations.

I exalt ME...

Oh sweet fancey Moses...this made me laugh. (Thanks Mary)

All Shall Be Restored

The grains shall be collected
from the thousand shores
to which they found their way,
and the boulder restored,
and the boulder itself replaced
in the cliff, and likewise
the cliff shall rise
or subside until the plate of earth
is without fissure. Restoration
knows no half measure. It will
not stop when the treasured and lost
bronze horse remounts the steps.
Even this horse will founder backward
to coin, cannon, and domestic pots,
which themselves shall bubble and
drain back to green veins in stone.
And every word written shall lift off
letter by letter, the backward text
read ever briefer, ever more antic
in its effort to insist that nothing
shall be lost.
-BY KAY RYAN

(In loving memory of Jenny, LeeElla's grandmother who passed away this week)

Fly in my cup

fly cup.jpeg
Originally uploaded by ericblauer.

What kind of day are you going to have, when you look down into your morning coffee and see a little fly swimming around? Ugh...

Jesus my boyfriend....?

Finally vindicated. This issue has gotten me in more hot water than almost any I have written about. Pointing out the over mothered church and the under fathered church is painful for most people, most who are women. The rub gets really raw when it comes to the language and theology of worship.

Artists are sensitive people, they often recoil with defensiveness at being held accountable for the content of their music. They fail to realize that worship isn't primarily about us, what we feel, what we want to say about God or how you may feel about the Lord. Worship as it relates to corporate singing is first and foremost about glorifying God. Worshipping Him for who He is and what He has done is the sweetest goal of worship. Helping people get their eyes, hearts and thinking off of themselves and onto the Lord. We want to lead people deeply into the heart of biblical theology through the arts. Christian spirituality has its place in the content of worship but our place must decrease and His place must increase as a general rule. The gospel involves us but the message is about Christ. Worship has navigated to far into the dangerously shallow waters of self and needs to steer back into the deep sea of God.

This is a humble journey that we all must be on. We grow in our understanding of God, the gospel, the Christian life and even in how and what we worship. I am not in favor of sterilizing all our human expression or ministry. I do not fear humanity...God is enfleshed in humanity by His own choice. We are not a disease that the church must continually sanitize like some over protective mother. The truth must be handled accurately as Paul taught Timothy. We must strive to express it as purely and honestly as possible with the amount of light we have. Stuff we write or sing or preach at one time of our lives is most likely going to be less mature in most ways as we reflect back later in life. I think that is a sign of growth. As a child we think as a child...when we become adults we must start thinking and believing like adults too. This is true about worship as well.

I appreciate Matt's humble and honest reflections...he is to be admired to admit and point out such things as one of the world's most influential worship leaders. The hard work of understanding the context of culture and being faithful to scripture is critical in any position of ministry. I wish more people were willing to undergo such a self examination for the sake of God's glory and the fruitfulness of reaching people who have not come to faith in Jesus. I am blessed to have a team of worship leaders who are on the hunt for such realities and are doing the hard work of presenting God focused worship that is accessible and honest for any heart. A balance indeed.

What a day...

Ok, the day starts with taking my car to the find out why the engine is running bad, the engine light is on and it wont go into a higher gear. Bingo...problem with hoses into radiator and transmission. Next...long convo with Micah's teacher, heavy, slightly challenging, emotionally draining...afternoon, big counseling session....emotionally draining. Then I receive frantic phone call from Christian at home, "Dad, there's two inches of sewage water in the basement!". Go home...yep the sewer pipe overflowed onto our basement floor...destroying everyhting that was sitting in the mess: 3 air conditionars, all our luggage, video games and system, keyboard, clothing items, Christians coat and various other little things. Call the plumber, he snakes it out but informs us that it appears that there is some "issue" in there that we will have to get a camera out her to find out what is going on. He leaves, with his $150 bucks...I slop up sewage for an hour or so...LeeElla cleans, mops and steam cleans the caprpets where poo feet walked through the house.You ever have one of those days that literally sucks and stinks? Yesterday ranks up there pretty high on my suck list.

Bloody pits on a snowy day...

Benaiah son of Jehoiada was a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, who performed great exploits. He struck down two of Moab's best men. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion. And he struck down a huge Egyptian. Although the Egyptian had a spear in his hand, Benaiah went against him with a club. He snatched the spear from the Egyptian's hand and killed him with his own spear. Such were the exploits of Benaiah son of Jehoiada; he too was as famous as the three mighty men. He was held in greater honor than any of the Thirty, but he was not included among the Three. And David put him in charge of his bodyguard. -2 Samuel 23:20-23

It can't be done. I've heard this often said...it castrates vision and hamstrings dreamers. It's the same kind of small minded thinking that Jesus rebuked the disciples about when they couldn't drive out a devil that had tormented, terrorized and almost destroyed a helpless child in Mark 9:14-29. Matthew records that in the same private discussion, Jesus chastised them for "the littleness of their faith" (Matt. 17:19-21).

Small thinking is at the root of much of the stagnant, powerless, storyless christianity that plagues many churches and too many Christian's lives. We've got no guts! Where are the Benaiah's? Those vision driven men and women who will hunt down a lion and dare to face him even in a pit on a snowy day! Not the most opportune situation I would imagine. Not great odds, not very sensible, thought out, wise or leveraged to his advantage. But there is a madness common to those who dare to follow God. Yes, an illogical bravery that teeters on insanity that leads them into bloody pits on a snowy day. What comes over a man to put everything on the line? What stirs in his blood to awaken him to risk everything for the chance to gain something that can only be grasped by those willing to lose it all?

The older you get, the more comfortable churches become...this spirit is often driven out by those who have forgotten the lure of such exploits. Neurological studies have shown that over the course of time, there is a cognitive shift from right-brain to left-brain. And if we don't find a way to stop the shift, memory overtakes imagination. We stop creating the future and start repeating the past. We stop innovating and start imitating. We stop doing ministry out of imagination and start doing ministry out of memory.

Other's mumble about not being called...

"Not called!" did you say?
"Not heard the call." I think you should say.
Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear Him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters not to come there. Then look Christ in the face...whose mercy you have professed to obey...and tell Him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish His mercy to the world. -William Booth

The times call for wildmen and women who will venture out of the cocoons of complacency and risk what they can not keep to gain what they can not lose.

Yah...that's what I thought.

NPR talked to scientists who say that the benefits of drinking tons of water are overrated, and that you don't need to carry a water bottle for a stroll around the park -- "Just drink when you're thirsty."

Myth No. 1: Drink Eight Glasses Each Day
Scientists say there's no clear health benefit to chugging or even sipping water all day. So where does the standard advice of drinking eight glasses each day come from? "Nobody really knows," says Dr. Stanley Goldfarb, a kidney expert at the University of Pennsylvania.

Myth No. 2: Drinking Lots of Water Helps Clear Out Toxins
The kidneys filter toxins from our bloodstreams. Then the toxins clear through the urine. The question is, does drinking extra water each day improve the function of the kidneys?
"No," says Goldfarb. "In fact, drinking large amounts of water surprisingly tends to reduce the kidney's ability to function as a filter. It's a subtle decline, but definite." (Boing Boing)

Goofballs...

Micah

Austin

Christian

Look out Elvis & Billy...

rock stars....JPG
Originally uploaded by ericblauer.

I didn't think I would get a rock star when we named our daughter...Destiny.

Billy Collins: The Trouble with Poetry

The trouble with poetry, I realized
as I walked along a beach one night --
cold Florida sand under my bare feet,
a show of stars in the sky --

the trouble with poetry is
that it encourages the writing of more poetry,
more guppies crowding the fish tank,
more baby rabbits
hopping out of their mothers into the dewy grass.

And how will it ever end?
unless the day finally arrives
when we have compared everything in the world
to everything else in the world,

and there is nothing left to do
but quietly close our notebooks
and sit with our hands folded on our desks.

Poetry fills me with joy
and I rise like a feather in the wind.
Poetry fills me with sorrow
and I sink like a chain flung from a bridge.

But mostly poetry fills me
with the urge to write poetry,
to sit in the dark and wait for a little flame
to appear at the tip of my pencil.

And along with that, the longing to steal,
to break into the poems of others
with a flashlight and a ski mask.

And what an unmerry band of thieves we are,
cut-purses, common shoplifters,
I thought to myself
as a cold wave swirled around my feet
and the lighthouse moved its megaphone over the sea,
which is an image I stole directly
from Lawrence Ferlinghetti --
to be perfectly honest for a moment --

the bicycling poet of San Francisco
whose little amusement park of a book
I carried in a side pocket of my uniform
up and down the treacherous halls of high school.

(pic from Steve)

The Country

The Country by Billy Collins

Appleseed

I watched "Appleseed Ex Machina" last week not realizing that there was a first one called "Appleseed". I watched it this last weekend while all my family was in Oregon, making my movie catch up marathon a total of 5.5 movies. I tried to watch Casshern but it just didn't catch me and I found myself not wanting to loose precious movie time on a flick I didn't like too much, so I ejected it. Appleseed was great, this one and its sequel are in my top more mature animation films. Titan A.E is another of my faves. I also enjoyed "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within"and Steamboy.

Budapest

-Billy Collins "Budapest"
A great illumination to the process and joy of writing.

April is when Erato speaks...

"It is time to experiment, time to leave the well-ordered but stuffy classroom, time to restore a vulgar vitality to poetry and unleash the energy now trapped in the subculture. There is nothing to lose. Society has already told us that poetry is dead. Let's build a funeral pyre out of the desiccated conventions piled around us and watch the ancient, spangle-feathered, unkillable phoenix rise from the ashes." -Dana Gioia

As I sat in my makeshift art studio the other day...I wrestled with the challenge and sometimes guilt I feel being an artist and a pastor. It takes time to be an artist...scribbles, countless hours writing, still born sketches, used paint, brushes, paper, canvas...oh the expense. Sometimes it feels vain. But then I remember and or see the apparent waste of beauty all around me and realize God is just as condemned as I.

One of the dreams I have had as a artist and a pastor has always been to plant a Church, a Christian community that an artist could live among and in. Help restore the wonders of expression in all her forms in our telling of the greatest tale to be told. A house with open windows where Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia and Urania could be once again experienced in their humble place under the altar. Oh, lets not allow them to ascend above the altar ...but instead be incarnated as simple offerings to be laid upon it.

As national Poetry month commences...I pray that the Lord will stir the blood of the poets to let loose their finely worded blades; severing the serpent entwined woman's head, whose gaze has silenced too many voices. Indeed, way too many hearts have turned to cold, dreamless stone but I hope you know that poetry can turn stone to flesh again and again. It has mine.

Geek heaven

My inner TWIG giggles with glee and envy when I see this: Star Trek Home movie room.

They are coming....

take a look at the future...here
via (Boing Boing)

Sucking nectar...

But you cannot go on “explaining away” for ever; you will find that you have explained explanation itself away. You cannot go on “seeing through” things for ever. The whole point of seeing through something is to see something through it. It is good that the window should be transparent, because the street or garden beyond it is opaque. How if you saw through the garden too?...a wholly transparent would is an invisible world. To “see through” all things is the same as not to see.” -C.S. Lewis in The Abolition of Man.

I've been preaching/teaching a series of messages on answering doubts concerning the core issues of the Christian faith. In that process I have been having some really good conversations with honest seekers and intelligent but under equipped believers. These endeavors often have included painfully myopic, rusted Christians who don't want to search the scriptures to see if these things be so, but to defend their "ideas" about what scripture says. It's rare to find those who have spent time truly excavating their beliefs out of the rock of scripture and a broad quarry of Christian traditions, perspectives and biblical scholarship. I am sorry folks but "I feel this to be true" isn't solid ground for most skeptics or honest doubters to crawl up and stand on.

"Let us get clearer views of what we believe. . . . Many are spiritual gipsies. They camp behind any hedge, but they abide nowhere, their theology consists of a few sticks and bits of canvas. It is easily upset, but then it is as easily set up. Well may they sing,—"We've no abiding city here"!. They prefer the chase after truth to truth itself; it is clear that such a chase has not much of reality in it, for the man is pleased that his prey should perpetually escape him. In olden times, the prophet was a seer; but, nowadays, a prophet is one who is too cultured to see anything. A man who protests that he has too much light to be sure that he sees anything is the favorite of certain intellectual hearers. David said, "I believed, therefore have I spoken;" but he was peculiar: our "thoughtful men" now speak because they doubt, and not because they believe."
-Charles Spurgeon

The challenge I find is to root all this biblically required study (2 Timothy 2:15, II Tim. 3:15-17, I Timothy 6:20,21) in a deeply devotionally rich soil of spiritually vibrant experience with God. Speaking from living. Producing nourishing fruit for intelligent consumption that is grown out of a healthy spiritual life. A day to day life that is nourished by the animating and revelatory presence of the Holy Spirit; not withered and juiceless fruit that has already had its nectar sucked out and penned into books and articles by someone else. I don't want to hold a lifeless skull in my pastoral hands but a word of life that through the Holy Spirit, opens peoples minds to understand who Christ is and what He has done. This is a holy tension.

But so long as we know God only in the way of men - by contentious learning, by arguing and dispute -- we see nothing but the shadow of Him; and in that shadow we meet many dark appearances, little certainty and much conjecture. But when we know him with the eyes of holiness and the intention of gracious experience, with a quiet spirit and the peace of enjoyment, then we shall hear what we never heard, and see what our eyes never saw." -Jeremy Taylor

THE DARJEELING LIMITED

Ok, this is one of my favorite movies. It's got that British humor thing, where in a serious moment they have to use humor; it's almost a defense mechanism..but, it works here. This is a deep movie that is funny, insightful and honest about our journey of passing through our parents. So much to unpack in this film. As a older brother of three, I could relate to this movie in a lot of ways. Each brother dealing with his own "baggage" that he is carrying...Dad's baggage, mom's issues and the challenge of letting go, discovery and accepting who you are and how life has a way of sorting that out in unplanned for ways. This is a rated R movie for language and a raw one night stand, that doesn't show anything but is dirty. But...even this part has its place to show the issues that often lie at the root of trysts, cheating and self-centered sexual encounters. Being used is part of the pain of self discovery at times. It tells us a lot about who we are and who we have not become yet and that women and men are users. This movie has a lot of quirkiness to it, which at first started to annoy me but then I saw how it played on the issue of how much we end up being like our parents in those small odd ways. The whole absent and fleeing mother issue in this movie was cathartic for me. It helped me see life from another angle...a woman who chooses to no longer be a mother. Not a bad thing...just a real thing. All in all...I think this movie helped me look at some of my own family baggage that I dont need to carry anymore.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. -Hebrews 12:1

City of Lost Children

One of the most bizarre movies I have ever seen. If you like weird, alternate reality, steam punkish, trippy plot with a slightly eerie feel...this movie is for you. It's a French movie with English subtitles. I simply can not imagine what mind this movie came out of?

August Rush

Great film for the family (slightly older kids), we loved it and my teens enjoyed it too.

TWIG HEAVEN !!!

We watched "Appleseed Ex Machina" last night and it kicked some serious Scfi butt! It's in english, has fantastic animation, action that gave me goosebumps and left me wanting more. It is PG-13 for some language, animated violence (fairly mild in my opinion) and a few intense (slightly scary) images.

Hot Rod vs FootLoose

Hot Rod, this movie made me laugh more than any movie in a while. Style it in the tradition of SNL or Napoleon Dynamite. This scene had me roaring with laughter, the Footloose angry dance was brilliant but the falling sequence is crazy funny slap stick.

Cola wars...

The beast in my belly?

Looks great...

StarWars: The Clone Wars
The movie comes out in August and a TV series follows.

Juno

LeeElla and I saw this last weekend. I loved it. Yes, it's about a teen that gets pregnant and all that comes with that is in it...typical teen life. But the themes that were dealt with in this movie were brilliantly handled. Abortion, adoption, marriage, maturity, friendship, blended family issues, divorce and the prospect of real love. This is a movie that emerges out of a postmodern reality. It's our world. This is where we live today. It's a honest look at the complexity and hope of finding something true in the midst of all the chaos. I laughed so many times.
When the father said He wanted to punch the boy father in the wennie...I died. Been there.

Brooke Fraser

I've been enjoying this song in my own worship times and found out that the singer is Brooke Fraser. This interview is really awesome, it gives me great hope to see the emerging generation mixing art & justice & faith in such a way.

Interview part one:
part one

Part two:

This is the final song based on the above story of her exepereince in Rwanda.

There will be blood...

Excalibur

Check out my eldest son's band: http://www.myspace.com/excaliburheavymetal Excalibur

Put off the old self....

Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. -Ephesians 4:22-24

The ice is gone, well in most places and the weather is getting warmer. I bought my new running shoes today. I am looking forward to getting outside and burning off some of this winter weight.

Same SEX unions...

In our small group, the subject of same sex relationships has been a point of deep reflection and discussion. I have enjoyed the manner in which the group has dialogued about the issue, not from a theoretical point of view but from a relational reality. We have friends and family who are wrestling with the teaching of scripture, the challenge of culture and the pain of personal experience. This is a short video clip of J.I. Packer who is facing suspension from the Anglican Church of Canada over his protest of the churches support of same sex unions. I admire Packer's obvious conviction and yet, there is a very real humility in the way he is wrestling to walk out that conviction. Very wise words.

The grasp of grace...

"The two men said to Lot, "Do you have anyone else here--sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the Lord against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it." So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry his daughters. He said, "Hurry and get out of this place, because the Lord is about to destroy the city!" But his sons-in-law thought he was joking. With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished. "When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful (compassionate) to them. As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, "Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!" -Genesis 19:13-17

I guess my 8 year old son was right...if we get caught in a burning house...God will come and take us by the hand and lead us out of the building. Amazing grace...how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. Indeed.

Who let the dogs out?

I live in DOGTOWN...big dogs prevail around this neighborhood. I snapped this photo today, right before my boys came out of the store...evidence for court just in case this dog ate them.
Here is an idea: if you got a CUJO for a pet...make sure the window is rolled up...please?
I'm getting a gun and a concealed weapon permit for sure.

Crushing Satan...underneath our feet.

"And they shall...renew the ruined cities."-Isaiah 61:4

We are moving towards the end of our year long restoration of the old Horseman's store that we have had the honor of rescuing from decay and resurrected it into a place to gather for worship, teaching and by the grace of God many more hundreds of lives transformed by the Spirit, gospel and body of Jesus. Through the prophet Jeremiah the Lord called the people of God in Babylon to: "Build yourselves houses and dwell in them, plant gardens and eat the fruit of them, take wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there and do not be diminished."(Jer. 29:5-6).

Seeing the work of the gospel expanding and growing is exciting to watch. Hearing a young adult confesses that the gospel has captured his heat in a way that studying the great philosophers has never done and how he is experiencing the LIFE of the word is fruit of the Spirt at work. Welcoming people from the neighborhood for the first time and hearing them try to express how the Lord touched them in the service is the sweet fruit of labor and prayer. Holding a young woman who is recovering from drugs and facing challenging times is soul moving work. Seeing the joy on a refugees face as she is loved, welcomed and served in her first days here in America makes the hard days worth it. Being embraced by a child who doesn't speak your language but can feel your love is holy. Laying hands on an elderly man who is fighting for life in the pew that you got for free off of Craig's List is powerful.

Seeing things that you wept for in the basement of a YWAM building in 1999 in Amsterdam Holland is confirmation that God still speaks to listening hearts. Hearing a young girl tell you that she loves the song you have been playing that speaks of God doing greater things in the days ahead...is evidence that the children shall truly lead you. Sometimes you get a chance in life to stand in a moment and truly see God's kingdom coming...those are gifts worth remembering.

In the midst of all the hard work, the tears, the stress, the failure, the attacks and and the overwhelming odds...you can still find yourself amazed by grace. It breaks my heart that so many people malign the church, the ministry and the work of God these days. So many times I heard about how it can't be done, it will destroy your family, ruin your marriage and bury you under the weight of the enemy. But I am here to testify that God still crushes satan under the feet of his church (Rom 16:20). If you are out there and wrestling with the dream of planting a church...don't listen to the nay-sayers...yes, it will kill parts of you but what comes alive is worth more than you ever will lose.

Burn in Hell...forever?

Hell has been a hot (no pun intended) topic in my recent conversations...specifically the doctrine of eternal torment. It's been good discussion and one that I have visited often coming from a Seventh Day Adventist upbringing. The SDA believe and teach the idea of eternal punishment and destruction vs eternal torture. A distinction that for many people is one that sounds heretical. I am not convinced either way completely...I do wrestle with the fact that eternal torture seems to be under supported in the whole counsel of the Word. It seems to contradict common sense logic about justice and is a doctrine that often repels people away from God instead of drawing them towards Him.

In my conversation the person said: "Eternal Torment was never taught in the old testament, The apostles never talked about it and the few scriptures where Jesus implies it come with no clarity; I think if a doctrine of this magnitude and horrific consequence were true, God would make it abundantly clear to all, and it would be a continuing theme throughout the Bible. On the other hand, eternal destruction is clearly taught and mentioned by all. The only exception is in Revelation where it appears to say Hell will be no more."

Good challenge...worthy of some good biblical study...I thought.

But then my youngest son, Micah came home distraught and angry Wednesday night from kids church. His first words to me were: "I'm pissed off, why would God kill Lots wife, just for looking back!" He was really upset. He told me that he wasn't going to believe in a God that kills people, that destroys huge cities. His little heart was broken and he was angry too. Every answer he recounted from the teachers of his class...he refuted and cast off with a disdain and frustration that they were not good enough answers according to him...which wasn't really the issue, our kids church is awesome and they were simply presenting a bible story; but Micah can grab a part of any talk and magnify it in his little mind. I tried to reason with him and explain the issues of choice, free will and all the other doctrinal anesthesia we use to try to soften a issue that we really can't explain either. I tried to use the concept of a parent telling a kid to stay out of the street for fear of getting hit or a command to come out of a burning building and if they didn't obey is the parent at fault? He responded: "Well Mom would come in an drag me out of the burning building!" I sat there stunned at his apologetic prowess that was really coming from a revelation of a side of God that frightened him and shook his understanding of a loving God.
We ended after talking some more with prayer. I told him I was proud that he cared about those people, cities and that we should love people. He calmed and I prayed with him about the issue. Needless to say, the hell, judgment and punishment doctrines are critical to understand because how we present our Father...can make some people stumble and even Jesus warned about the danger of making little ones stumble. It's a tough concept to wrestle with, one that trite answer dont really soothe the wounded heart.

I still am wrestling with the talk....the look and sound in Micah's face and voice was haunting.

Boobie-FREE Barristers...please?

I must confess I prefer a man to make my cup of Joe.

No, I am not gay.
I'm not a woman hater.
I don't have repressed baggage because of my mommy issues.
I'm all for equal rights.
I'm cool as someone living in Washington State to have two women senators, a woman for a Governor and woman for our Mayor and potentially a woman for President.

I just hate...yes, I said HATE...getting my cup of coffee and smelling perfume or scented hand creme all over the stinking cup.

I can't enjoy the smell of coffee which is one of the main reasons I enjoy it...because these women have to lather themselves like a buttered ham on Thanksgiving with all the latest manufactured body stink. So please...if you pour coffee for the public, remember that we come to purchase a latte...not an olfactory assault by a ludicrously lathered lady barrister.

The hammers fell...

Five hundred years ago, when asked the motivation for a particular sculpture, Michelangelo replied, "I saw an angel in the stone and carved to set it free.

With the warmer weather finally approaching, I am able to begin my spring time project. Carving. I picked up some tools and found where I can get the wood I want. Now I am going to convert my painting area into a chopping, cutting, hammering and chiseling work area. I got a good new lighting bar in my studio area and with a little spring cleaning and mice hunting I should be ready to create. I've been itching to explore carving...with wood and then with my real artistic fantasy...stone. I want to hammer rock and fashion stone...i've worked a little with wood in the past. So let hammers fall...I might just have to grow my beard out for this season...how can I wield such earth shaping instruments with a clean face??? So if you wander by you might hear the sound track of LOTR playing, metal striking rock, the fragrance of fresh cut wood filling the air...ahhh the glorious return of spring.

Children are a blessing from the Lord...

Micah is my youngest, he just turned eight years old and last night he gave me one of the most precious gifts...his support.

Towards the end of the message, I glanced at Micah who was sitting next to LeeElla and noticed he was fully engaged with the preaching. We met eyes...and for a instant I knew that my heart was passing into his heart...my passion was his passion...he was being formed. At the very end of service, after preaching from the deepest places of my heart and spirt, I was overcome on the pulpit with tears during the closing prayer. It was a holy moment, when the only right response is to bow deeply in your heart, weep and embrace the penetrating light and life of God's word and just worship....in silence.

After I closed, he was the first one to come up to me and asked: "Dad, are you ok?" I took him in my arms and told him that I was fine. As we were walking home, he was holding my hands and he said: "Dad, I enjoy hearing you preach...I want to come every Sunday night." Later I took him aside and told him that those words meant very much to me and gave him a hug.

As I reflect on moments like that, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude that I have the chance to share this pastoring experience with my children. I truly, truly, truly am grateful for the privilege of preaching the word of God and for the call of God that not only envelopes my life but the life of my family too.

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. -Psalms 127:3

A bloodstained coat...

Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD's altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings, and he doesn't accept them with pleasure. You cry out, "Why has the LORD abandoned us?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made to each other on your wedding day when you were young. But you have been disloyal to her, though she remained your faithful companion, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard yourself; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "It is as cruel as putting on a victim's bloodstained coat," says the LORD Almighty. "So guard yourself; always remain loyal to your wife." -Malachi 2:13-16

The issue is this...if you choose to engage in a sexual relationship with someone its an act of good faith. You are saying to that person that you will commit to becoming a family. God designed sex to produce life. God designed man and woman to love each other for life, raise a family and keep the human race from going extinct. So if you get a woman pregnant or get yourself pregnant...welcome to married life. Oneness of spirit and flesh has taken place and from that intimacy...new life is created. Not only the life of the child but a new life for you...you move from single life to married life. Engaging in sex is a consummation to a new life...one of commitment, faithfulness and family.

To end the life of that child who is the result of your choice to enter into a God ordained holy union...is murder.
An act that is the same as putting on a bloodstained coat in God's eyes. So if you want closure in a relationship...start by closing your legs....for the sake of a child at least. If you have had an abortion...repent, turn to Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, get married or stop having sex outside of marriage. If you do get married have some godly children and maybe...adopt a child as an act of moral restitution.

Give another child a chance at having a family.

I am going to burn up!

There are some times when I am speaking the Word of God where the fire of God is so intense that I really think I could combust, right there on the spot. I thought that in both service this weekend...the Word was literally a fire in my mouth and there were moments when I wanted to just stop and let it consume me until there was nothing left but smoldering desire. I simply can not express how alive Romans 15 was for me. There were passages in that text that assaulted me with an intensity that was frightening. The prophet said that the Lord's word was like a hammer against rock...a fire that burns and a flame that sometimes feels like its burning from inside your very bones...this weekend, I felt that. I pray that word...will scorch the earth around here.