"Now the Lord saw that Leah was unloved and He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren." -Genesis 29:31
I did this piece with a pastor friend and his church in mind. Sometimes the work or the church we give our lives to serve and love; are not always seen as "beautiful" in the eyes of others. She is often seen as "weak eyed". For some they are simply a vehicle to produce "children" but not worthy of our devotion and passion. As long as they "produce" for us they are valuable. As long as they give us what we want or guarantee a return...then we will visit them. Thankfully the Lord sees...and He is sovereign in responding in a life giving and loving way to those churches that in the eyes of some are unlovable. My prayers and heart go out to my brother who is loving a church that is destined to bring glory to God. She will produce sons and daughters who will stand up and call you blessed who choose to love the unbecoming, the hidden, weak and neglected.
I wrestled with creating this picture and the desire at first to get all the proportions and likeness correct...I restarted it completely once and laid it aside trying to quit about 3 times; but finally just allowed myself the freedom to scribble it out of my head and heart. I felt allowing the messiness of it to remain, spoke more to the truth of being unloved because of perceived lack of beauty...than wrestling with trying to make the picture artistically beautiful.
I think a lot of artistic work gets aborted in these moments...instead of just allowing the work to come out of us. We too often judge our work into an early grave instead of learning to celebrate the arrival of whatever comes out. The process, no matter what the outcome is justified, if we can endure the reality of what it simply is...instead of always condemning it...by what it isn't.
Faith allows us the peace of just being...and trusting that what is, is enough and yet, will be more than it is...in time.
That is a holy rest for an artist or a struggling soul.