Chowing chowder at Mo's

In Lincoln City, OR

Foraging fun...

Every summer we make sure to stop by Grandma's house to pick
Blackberries, when we are in Beaverton. LeeElla makes some great jam
out of them. It was hot again today so we got out early to try to
avoid the heat but I still got a bit dizzy from it. But Grannies
lemonade helped us all cool down. Good times and good for you....urban
harvesting at it's best.

Book Fix

Every trip to Portland requires a visit to Powell's Books. Christian
and I, hit the Beaverton store, it's not as good as the downtown one
but better than most Spokane stores. I was able to pick up a couple
art books covering stuff Ive been wanting to learn. I also snatched up
a CS Lewis book of essays and articles about writing. Good finds.

Sin....

One can look at sin from two sides...legal and relational.

The legal side is descriptive. It's clear and concise...injunctions are laid out, lists are made, prohibitions are clear and these are found easily within the pages of scripture in both old and new testaments. The Law and the prophets lay out sin and its consequences. From this clarity we see justice, wholeness, purity, perfection, godliness, the ideal, holiness, eternality, glory, light. From these passages we see the image of life as it should be.

The relational side is the spirit behind the law. We see that the clarity of showing sin among us, between us and in us...it has to do with relationships. Sin separates people relationally. There is a side of this that envelops the ideas presented in the NT that have to do with love. Connecting sin to love in phrases like... "That isn't very loving" becomes a relational compass that awakens one to the reality that what they are doing, even if it isn't clearly described somewhere is hurting someone or something and that means you are not loving them. That becomes sin. If one isn't truly walking in faith...for them, and that is the language the bible uses...is sin.

These two sides are one.

Learning to live in love and for the glory of God is a process. It requires learning about the holiness of God and coming to the realization of ones own fallenness. Which brings despair and hope. It involves one despairing of self and seeking the hope given by God, through God and is God...in Jesus Christ. We turn from self and embrace the Son; who becomes for us, salvation, healing, restoration, glorification, life and light. We are born in and through this and from this we grow. And a new life lived in and by the Spirit is entered and we learn to follow the nuances for this relational life.

Sin is present...in both the legal truth and the relational tensions.

Sin crucified the son of God...it's a serious issue. One we must wrestle with, understand, flee, confess, fear, reject and seek freedom from. But it's also a dissonance that should lead us to tune the dial until the music of heaven comes in clearer. An ugly sound within and without...is evidence of a out of tune life. Learning the notes of living...involves this issue of sin. But playing the music is the goal.

Some people who are born legalists or were raised with just light about the demands of holiness and not the remedy and beauty of it....always want to define things. Because they are consumed with being "right" and "good" and love is usually connected to these words to them.

Defining sin is often the evidence of a heart that is still maybe only seeing sin from one side of the coin.

Without the relational side...the legal side is exactingly objective.
With only the relational side of the coin...sin is merely subjective.

We need both sides....but the life of the Spirit...goes beyond these words...as one grows in love.

Soon the definitions becomes irrelevant because the life within, the knowledge of our Father, and the voice of the Holy Spirit and the renewed and reclaimed heart and mind...live in tempo, even with the presence of sin. Sin becomes the fascination and preoccupation of those who have only learned a life of turning from things...instead of the life of turning towards something...or better, Someone.

Turning from sin...is often the tale tell sign of the preoccupation of a Christ-less religion.

Law is a picture of a child reaching out his or her hand...and their Father not reaching back.
Grace is a Father reaching out His hand...and embracing the child's hand.

What picture one sees....will determine the quality and enjoyment of the faith journey.


"Those of us who were brought up as Christians and have lost our faith have retained the sense of sin without the saving belief in redemption. This poisons our thought and so paralyses us in action." -Cyril Connolly

"It takes the same grace of God to save the most respectable person in the world as (it does) the most lawless person in the world" (Martin Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression).

"Sin is whatever obscures the soul."
Gide, Andre

"He that falls into sin is a man; that grieves at it, is a saint; that boasteth of it, is a devil."

"God has reserved the time of full cleansing of his people, for another world. Christ could cleanse His people presently from all their spots if He desired. Surely, this is the case. But because they are to live in this world for now, Christ sees that it would not benefit them to be wholly cleansed from sin now and live in a sinful world. This world is not worthy of the saints. Even if you consider them with all their infirmities, still, the world is not worthy of them. Yet it is not for the world to have the saints live here without their spots. If the world is offended that Christians have their spots. then let them be offended. Let Christians be stumbling-blocks to them. It is without a doubt, that many saints are stumbling blocks to many souls. The world, they rejoice when they see the sins that are in the saints" -Jeremiah Burroughs Spots of the Godly and of the Wicked

"What then is it in the soul which causes it to take more pleasure in things which it loves when they are found and recovered than if it has always had them" (Augustine Confessions Bk. VIII Pg. 137)

Love, and do what you like.
Saint Augustine

The Hill and Wood....

The lyrics in this song, grasp the reality of so much of what I have tried to articulate, embody and envision. It was so good to hear someone sing my song....

I've met these folks.....

Show me what I'm looking for...by Carolina Liar

Wait, I'm wrong
Should have done better than this
Please, I'll be strong
I'm finding it hard to resist
So show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord

Don't let go
I've wanted this far too long
Mistakes become regrets
I've learned to love abuse
Please show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord
Show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Just save me from being confused

Wait, I'm wrong
I can't do better than this
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord

The gospel...in lyrical form...lifted from Mockingbird

The Dusk of Shame

I did this piece as a reflection on the journey out of shame. All true
restoration is a mix of shadow and light. We are more than our
brokeness but our deepest hope is wed to it in a redemptive paradox.

What is the ideal "Christian" woman....?

I included in my last post a link to a ministry that is connected with Sovereign Grace Ministries they hold the same views as people like Mark Driscoll and the Mars Hill movement. They represent a very virile group of mission minded people, biblically conservative and generally culturally liberal...but these issues seem to bring out their more hard fundamentalist edge.

I and many I pastor and journey with...don't fit to well in these one-size fits all man/woman role perimeters. The language, the look, the perspective, the theological bent, the Complementarianism view of man over women, the "stay at home with the babies only" message...all start to feel very culturally isolated. It sometimes feels like modern folks trying to be Little House on the Prairie. Not that I dont think the values represented aren't often godly...but it always seems to be a way of living that is more comfortable for people who live white, pink and pastel lives. I'm not sure how to translate these ideas, to a people who don't speak that language or have those life experiences. I wrestle with the message itself...if it is even a fair representation of the ONLY way to live out modesty, family and holistic sexuality.

On the 'Girls Talk' site, they give this definition for modesty/propriety:
"The avoidance of clothing and adornment that is extravagant, showy, and sexually enticing.”

The actual dictionary definition is more broad and less narrow:

Modesty: freedom from vanity or conceit

Propriety: correct or appropriate behavior


I see a lot more room to outwork these words in the actual definition. The one they offer, seems to play into the way they see womanhood. Not that I oppose anyone who desires to model or follow that vision. You are free to do so...but isnt there room for creative and moral freedom in those words...maybe an alternative expression of modesty, that would be attainable to the woman represented in the first picture of my previous post?

I think there's a danger in people swinging to far away from their old lifestyles when they come to faith. They imagine that "the opposite" of all they did or was...is the answer for living this new life. It's easy to latch onto legalism or moralism to try to self-clean or self-sanctify....we try to become something different through radical lifestyle changes. We go STRAIGHT-EDGE not as a expression of some true change within but in order to show we are serious about being different. In the end...it might be sad to discover that everything you did to be "moral, good, different, traditional or even biblical...was really vanity. So in the very act of trying to be Modest...you betrayed the very spirit of modesty.

It was the failure of the Jewish leaders that Jesus sought to enlighten...and it is often the failure of moral based religious zealotry.

Many times it can become an act of sowing fig leaves to cover our shame...instead of trusting in the blood of God's ultimate sacrifice.

We find ourselves back in Eden...naked and...and still ashamed.

Painting is "Minerva" by Rodin

Put your clothes on....or take them off?

"To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law." -Paul (1 Corinthians 9:20-21)

We have to think missionally, as we engage the issues of modesty, propriety, sexuality, sensuality, nakedness vs nudity within our current culture. We have to take into account social norms, traditions, background, religious tradition or formation in thinking, art in all its forms and the impact of those mediums in forming opinion, perspective and experience. The people I am seeking to reach are born into a culture that will powerfully imprint it's pattern on the soul, psyche, thinking, appetites and perceptions of all these topics.

If we sat at a table with a woman from Tanzania, France, Iran, Texas, Seattle, Ukraine, Australia and South Korea...and talked about universal rules for modesty and sensuality; you could imagine the very complex conversation we would have. If a principle isn't applicable for all people, for all time, in every place...I think we need to be careful what we establish as gospel truth or religious law. And if our understandings of these topics are either corrupted or constrained by the "universality" principle...than that needs to be addressed as well.

You just can't lay one rule down for everyone...some people or cultures might need to put clothes on and some might need to take them off. The need of the heart and soul and the leading of the Spirit; is central, to the proper formation and shaping of Christ in people and cultures. Like Paul, I am free to say to one disciple...be circumcised for the sake of mission; and to another don't do it because it would be a devaluing of Christ's work.

Context...not situational ethics in the broad sense but Spirit led application of scriptural truth for the moment.

I know some women who need deliverance from a misapplication of modesty and cultural constraints. Their womanhood, beauty and freedom have been submerged and the glory of God is dimmed. Now that's not a endorsement of burning bra's etc...its an honest pastoral evaluation of seeing a form of bondage that eclipses women behind issues, other people's hang-ups and legalism or cultural morality...instead of the new creation in Christ.

I know other women who have no sense of Spirit guided and scripturally formed modesty. Their underwear is never under what they wear....You can here "Thar She Blows!!!!"...everytime they bend over, because the "Whale-Tail" made by her thong. Breasts are almost falling out of their blouses, nipples are poking through clothing thin enough to look through. Swimming with your kids with some women these days is like a 9th grade biology class minus the condom discussion.
It's a chaotic mess of realities colliding all around us. Redeemed men and women are in desperate need for discipleship in transformation of inner lives and for liberation from deadening religious "side hug" rules. The extremely challenging thing about all of this is...we are all thrown into this process together as a church.

Our religious world is a melting pot of backgrounds...we are not just "Jews" and "Gentiles" now...and the crazy multiplicity of views, backgrounds, beliefs, ideals, phobias, fears, sensitivities and judgments are sometimes...overwhelming.

Helping men and women discover godly beauty, to revel in the mystery and holiness of marital bliss is a high mountain to climb these days. Nudity has devalued nakedness and the fruit has been eaten from the tree. But even still there is a path towards the tree of life in these subjects. True sexual freedom is found in God not the gutter. True womanhood is a godly fruit of holiness not bought off a shelf or rack. Inner beauty is not at the exclusion of outer beauty in faith...its the illuminating glory of the body. Modest is hottest...and learning the secret of that truth will enhance the glory of God in us...not extinguish it.

Helping one another move from uncreated in Christ in both mind and heart and body; towards a human life being transformed from the inside out in these areas...is a process. I think websites and ministries like GirlTalk will help some women at certain places in their lives and for others they would hurt their growth. I think tools like this (Modesty Heart Check) can help a woman or man examine themselves and check their hearts but I also think they could bind.

In the end, I seek to help people discover and apply the restorative and liberating message of the gospel and work of the Spirit. A path that requires bold adherence to liberty and new creation truth not the curse or the fall and not the work of the law. This journey will produce repentance, restoration, transformation and freedom. Not banality, prudishness, subservience, dominance, authoritarianism, exploitation...not legalism or antinomianism.

It's not an easy endeavor....but it's worth the risks involved.

"For the glory of God is man...fully alive." -St. Ireanus

Clothed....or unclothed.


Picture by Gavin HargestAll rights reserved.

Summers bliss

Good Naked....Bad Naked.

My thoughts on "Resurrecting Eve", have been spoken of as a post concerning: Boobs. If that is all someone came away with, you missed my point. The discussion was intended to address the complexities of "good naked and bad naked" to use a Seinfeld phrase. I believe that nudity is appropriate in art. I think there is a difference between pornography and the representation of the human nude figure. I also am aware of the dangers, bondage and addictions that are part of human experience relating to sexuality. But I make it a habit to never govern my life by the failures of others to maintain proper relationship with whatever it is that they have overindulged in...be it food, sex, money, ego, fame, religion or intellectual achievement.

Work is good...a workaholic is bad.
Sex is good...prostitution is bad.
Having money to cover life's expenses is good...gambling your paycheck away is bad.
Cheese cake is good....eating the whole pie is bad.

Using anyones discussions on fine art to fuel or excuse your addiction to porn is a sad excuse for maturity. I am aware that these discussions are generally for responsible, intelligent, moral adults; who are engaged in cultural engagement, mission minded, artistic reclamation. A issue for those who are passionate about restoring a beauty aesthetic to our communities through celebration, involvement and defense of the fine arts. "As part of that mission manifesto one must understand that in the artist tradition; the human figure is seen as the linchpin of ones practice of visual knowledge. If you can accurately and expressively draw or paint or sculpt the human form you can draw anything....You can only draw what you can see, and that which you cannot see cannot be fully known."

An example of the issue would be the picture of David by Michelangelo. A strict Fundamentalist would look at that statue; which is considered a masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture...and only see a penis. The focal point of the statue for some people's minds would be the nudity of David. Everything else would be forgotten or be secondary to the issue most offensive...a uncircumcised genitalia. Forget the massive height, the masterful proportions, the exquisite form and movement, the posture and the meaning of it all. It would be reduced to the crotch of the statue. This mindset is what I was aiming at wrestling with in the previous post.


The figure, i.e. the nude figure (and I do not mean nudity in the political sense for which so many arguments have been waged concerning censorship), is a soulful being, created we are told in the image of God and imbued with the stretch and celebration of dance, the gravity and reflection of thought, the expression and imagination of spirit. To see the figure in this light is to honor, not to worship it. We come to draw the figure with eyes focused to study, not to lust. We revel in our lines, smudges, colors, clay forms, to render the poetry of all that is human, not to debase it as the pornographer's butcher shop. In fact, we rebel in our prints, pictures, and sculpture against the newsstand rags, which pervert the man or woman that was made with a temple in mind. If as Christians and artists we seek to elevate the nude figure as a metaphor for what it means to truly be alive at a certain time, in a certain place, then we have accomplished a great deal. If, however, we reduce ourselves to the naked body, we are relegated to being the makers of empty vessels without full transcendence, and therefore merely a cold and shivering heap of parts. -"On The Nude in Art" By James Zingarelli, Art Chair, Sculpture and Drawing Instructor, Gordon College (a Christian institution)

"In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it."
-Michelangelo

Drops Like Stars....

I just finished reading Rob Bell’s new book “Drops Like Stars”....I started it 15 minutes ago. Nah, just kidding...kinda. I’ve been a side hug fan of Rob Bell for awhile. I’ve read “Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith” and “Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile” but not “Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality” because I didn’t have a paper bag to bring it home in.

In general, I’ve enjoyed his fresh thoughts, contemporary perspective and hipster familiarity with pop culture and the earthy wisdom of the eastern yarmulke scribes. Rob was born August 23, 1970; I was hatched August 28, 1970...so we are nearly brothers, or at least we seem to see and speak a similar language.

I was looking forward to reading his new book and getting a chance to look at it, since it was famed to be a “artistic coffee-book”....which means, big pages, words and pictures and it turns out a bit pricey (between $20-35, depending on who, where and how you purchase it).

My first impression from looking at the outside was, hopeful; creative, aesthetically pleasing, well crafted. But once I looked inside...I was dissapointed. In fact, I began to be overtaken with slight angst.

First of all...a lot of the pictures seemed shot in a 1970’s World Book style; boring, dated, a slight amateur feel....kind of like a commercial advertising agency would put out. A few pictures were creative but in general nothing really stood out; except the extremely large shot of Michelangelo’s: “David”.

Second...it looked like the printer was having a special on, (I imagine) expensive, hard wood forest tree paper from the equatorial endangered rainforests...so they could print a few words per page and actually not print any words on many. I guess the profits from his last book, which hit the “Justice Button” quite a bit...missed the memo about conservation, consumption and environmental responsibility. I could build a house for a small rural farmer in Tibet with the empty, wing size pages in the back of this tomb. It just seemed to be a waste.

Third...the writing style and the format of the book; feels like a Christian version of Dr. Seuss to me. It’s simple, slightly rhythmic and only puts a few words on each page. I like my Green Eggs and Ham..but I like my theology and artistic missiology to be engaging on a more challenging level. This book’s tone at times felt saccharine, timid, mushy...in light of that...reach for his other books first.

I knew I was in trouble when halfway through the book...I seriously thought about taking it back for a refund. But, I knew I would be done reading it in another 7.5 minutes....so I continued...and I thought I might read it in the bathroom; and all good Seinfeld watchers know that you can’t return it after that....so I kept it.

In the end, I was uninspired.

As an artist...that disappointed me. In fact you can save your money and the forests and read this interview (http://www.patrolmag.com/arts/616/rob-bell-likes-his-art-chocolate) with Rob Bell...it’s far more engaging and insightful than the book.

But if you are looking for a book to put coffee on...this will make a nice addition...but it unfortunately, it has no fold out legs.

At the lake....

We enjoyed a couple days up at Diamond lake. On Tuesday, while LeeElla was at work, I took the kids and some of their friends up to enjoy the water. She came up after work and we all enjoyed an evening of fishing, games, swimming and hiking. Everyone got some toasty sunburns even though I entreated them to use sunscreen...kids got to learn their own way I guess.
Austin, enjoying the sun and tubes.
I never stopped pastoring youth...my youth group is just mostly my kids friends these days...and there is a lot of them. I enjoy teens, hanging out, being silly and just being there for them. We got a great group of young people that call our home ground zero for a lot of activity.

Resurrecting Eve....

This is a picture I took on one of my most favorite local, non-corporeal nudes in Spokane. She resides in a little flower garden at St' Luke's Rehab...I guess the founders felt that the David's similar natural health remedies might assist in the recovery of their patients too.

Many statues portray one breast exposed which usually has a particular meaning. Justice statues have breasts exposed. Women warriors, particularly the Amazons, are often depicted with a left breast exposed because its said that they removed the right breast for better javelin throwing and bow use.

Americans are steeped in boobie phobia. I can't tell you how many conversations get all heated over the issue of nudity. You can barely breast feed a kid these days without someone freaking out. The issues are rooted in women and their body hate, the cultural devaluing of motherhood and family, the plague of porn, the loss of the non-dualistic sacredness and holiness of the body, Gnosticism, our fundamentalist Christian heritage and many other sociological or phycological issues or hang ups.

The discussions get interesting when you dare to weave theology and morality with artistic philosophy, culture and tradition bias. Of course our sex soaked culture is to blame for the knee jerk reactions and close minded fundamentalism that surrounds the issues too. Women and men are to blame for feeding the fire through a thousand means. They often cement the poisonous stereotypes and rabid infatuation by grandstanding the issues:The challenge is to be faithful to the scriptures guidance on proper morality and healthy sexuality without becoming puritanical and hyper paranoid, which can lead to legalism of the most ridiculous kind. I recently talked to a bro who was raised with the strict no male swimming without pants prohibition. Mixed bathing was considered the heights of hedonism of many generations not to long ago. I cut my pastoral teeth in a denomination whose camp potty police would spin countless stringent rules and regulations in order to prevent the pubescents from copulating....which had to be because of those devilish bikini tops. Of course we were all saved from the hormones when some heavenly designer introduced the Tankini...ah, but I digress. Religious hounds have been covering table legs with skirts because the legs were too sexy since early America...that will make you look at your table differently wont it? Boobie love seems to be inherent in the genes of man...if a wife had a dollar for everytime...you know what I am going to say without even finishing the sentence don't you? Mammary madness is here to stay...how we handle it is the critical issue.

I'm not sure the church has really found a healthy way of presenting the human fascination and desire for the body. Many have been prisoners of their own lusts and legitimate longings and have not been been taught how to differentiate between the two. Religion starts to sound a lot like sadistic prudishness, if you listen to all the lingo, self hatred and confusion that exists in Christian conversations. If you stand up for the boob...you get labeled as a sexual deviant or....an artist.

I'm not convinced that the common path of how we have promoted purity has been that successful in American churches. The load of sexual dysfunction, promiscuity, bondage and marital sexual dissatisfaction is astounding. People are possessed by a host of personal demons in regards to living with and handling their sexuality.
Don't touch, Don't look and don't think...and get someone to regularly ask you if you have, and read your bible and pray...is the typical prescription for purity. In general, in my experience...this has been inadequate, alone. I didn't say it's wrong but I think these approaches are incomplete without a general understanding of solid gospel truth and a wholistic biblical worldview when it comes to understanding sexuality, the body, worship and beauty. We have a lot of work to do.

I think artists can help rescue the body from the clutches of the profiteers, pimps and potty police. I think there needs to be balanced and beautiful representations of the tantalizing, godly modesty and unfettered delight in the God created glory of womanhood and manhood. It's not an easy path...but the horrid expressions and suppressions all around us beckon for a new renaissance of bold but sanctified artists; who can resurrect Eve...while burying Delilah."The body is not for fornication but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body." -1 Corinthians 6:13

The Praise of Night

Love and Loathing....

I have no desire to rip on any artist that is producing...but I was in a personal conundrum as I viewed these works at the Rocket Bakery on Main. I rarely say "well a kid could do that"; simply because I know how hard it usually is to actually do THAT...whatever "THAT" is. And in fact, most people probably could "DO THAT" but what separates them from real artists...is that the artist "DID DO THAT"...and where most people just sit on their excuses and distractions and never really do anything. But these pieces almost made me angry....on one level...and made me hopeful on another...sometimes the trick is just getting out there and showing, doing and engaging the world of art in order to make doors open. Some people just have more guts...they expose themselves to the process and are not willing to allow the fear that is inherent to the process...stop them. I think its the artists that do not have chronic phobias that get known in life...and the ones that do have those hang-ups...get the notoriety after death. How we are wired can impact the eventual publicness of our work on so many levels. I admire this artist's accomplishments...even though I can't stand the work. So artist, whoever you are; don't hate me if I pick at it...at least you are showing in a public space...my pieces are still hiding in the garage or on a fridge somewhere.

Garden study....

My son's new blog....

My eldest son, Christian has started blogging at http://growbeards.blogspot.com/

The hope of dance....

"Every teacher of religious law who has become a disciple in the Kingdom of Heaven is like a person who brings out of the storehouse the new teachings as well as the old." -Jesus (Matt. 13:52

Videos like this inspire me and give me hope for the generations ahead. This is an amazing time to be alive...creativity is bursting all around us. The old traditions are being re-imagined. A fresh wind is catching the tired sails of many ships. Resuscitation is taking place and there is cutting-edge technology to capture it as it unfolds. It's a new renaissance and the revolutionaries are mere people...not rock stars, high paid actors, fine air brushed mannequins or bimbo's...its' sidewalk theater at it's best. You can participate if you got the guts, passion, quirkiness or just sheer joy. You can sing off key...dance like you have a wooden spine and concrete feet, film your masterpiece from your garage or closet...it doesn't matter...just create.

The formal, constricting boundaries of tradition, formalism, religiosity, cultural constraints and norms are free to be broken and honored at the same time. Get married...but re-envision it if you so desire.

I have hope when dance is returning to a people.

I think this tv show is part of that renaissance.


"Don't give a man a sword...until He's learned to dance." -Old Scottish Proverb


(props to Mel for the facebook link)