Killer Kona

Caesar once, seeing some wealthy strangers at Rome, carrying up and down with them in their arms and bosoms young puppy dogs and monkeys, embracing and making much of them, took occasion not unnaturally to ask whether the women in their country were not used to bear children; by that prince-like reprimand gravely reflecting upon persons who spend and lavish upon brute beasts that affection and kindness which nature has implanted us to be bestowed on those of our own kind.

There are 41 references to dogs in the Bible ... and most of them are negative. As a dog owner, I can understand why. Reference the above photo of canine culprit example A: Given name-Kona. AKA: devil dog, bean head, beaners, kona beans and walnut brain.

She shreds for a living and chews like a redneck cowboy or a 9th inning pitcher.
She targets items that she knows will exacerbate and drive me to flashing outbursts of anger that force me to exercise the fine line between be angry and sin not...a line that seems to get extremely blurred in such visceral moments.

She stinks like a dog too. I know that seems to be a no brainier but in the fever of need, when you are under the childhood nostalgic spell of the doggie dream...you forget such olfactory assaults.

She finds the need to bark at all the moments when I would wish for silence. Usually right in those spaces of time when all the 5 children have gone to bed, got knocked out or are enjoying a quite moment of TV with the mute button on (mandatory during blood sugar crashes).

Oh don't forget the crap and pee...oh glorious patterns speckled throughout the once pristine lawn, now poor testimony of a fountainous bladder. Nothing like mowing over a mound of hidden poo, ummmm delightful!
But on and on I could bemoan my plight but to no avail because I am a canine junkie and what kills me seems to give me a dance of delight as well, so I am a slave to my pooch.