I have no one...

help
Originally uploaded by ericblauer.

"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me." -John 5:7

I have no one...

These few words pack a punch, they are bruised with the morbid colors of deep despair and hopelessness. They haunt us. They whisper in the ears of those who feast at the tables of plenty. They echo off the painted wall, after our melodic songs have ended and we bask in the lushness of our entertainment. They prick us in our $150 buck shoes, like an unreachable thorn. Justice weeps as we revel in our superfluities. It's bleak.

I must confess...my heart is too hard. My comfort has become a cocoon that I cant seem to escape from. It's been woven together out of years of self serving indulgence. I'm a prisoner, locked in a cell of my own making. I was told that wealth, luxury and economic margins would set me free. I found out that it became a siren that always lured me towards more but never got me there.

I find myself sighing in relief when the man in the cart is going the other way...it means I wont be required to do something. I'm ashamed by the depth of my selfishness.
I will wear red...but I wont kill my desire...dead.

I want to live a life of meaning as long as it fits into my plans and will not hurt. As long as it wont cost me much more than a cup of coffee.
Jesus said that the measure that you use, is the measure of return. And I wonder why we dont see more take place in our lives and in our ministries.
I am realizing that as a pastor, I came to work with and serve the poor. I came to live with them. I thought I came to...save them. I am realizing more and more that they are saving me. I'm being saved...from myself. It seems to be a blessing that is hidden among the poor.

"Remember, the final measure of your life won't be how well you live, but how well others live, because of you." -Bill Gates, Microsoft