The whole life of the good Christian is a holy longing, what you desire ardently, as yet you do not see…By withholding of the vision, God extends the longing. Through longing He extends the soul, by extending He makes room in it. Let us long because we are to be filled…that is our life, to be exercised by longing.”
–St. Augustine

Are you being "exercised" by your longings?
Vexed by your visions?
Maddened by your musings?

Has your heart grown sick from the long winter of your hopes? Have you been waiting for the summer and it hasn't arrived? It amazes me how much I learn about myself from not getting what I long for. There's a holy wisdom in the 8th month agitation.

My soul is being extended, the stretch marks will be with me forever, I am sure. It's got to be a ten pounder by the way I carry it.

Sometimes it's fearfully silent and I think something must be wrong and then I am kicked in parts that don't respond well to such violence; but I am left ruthlessly aware of life again. Vision is alive.

Ahhhh the abuse of it all, the bloody path of birth.

I am being "exercised" by my longings!!!!

Oh Augustine, you put flesh on my hauntings, your pen is an illumined one indeed.