Lord, You light my lamp;
my God illuminates my darkness.
With You I can attack a barrier,
and with my God I can leap over a wall.
-Psalms 18:28-29
I don't know about you but in 2005 I hit a wall, a significant wall that I didn't think I was going to be able to pass. Disillusionment, despair, depression, discouragement, disappointment, defeat all stood before me like a massive barrier, unable to scale and very ominous.
Hitting the wall. It's inevitable in every arena of life to eventually encounter barriers.
Barriers can break you or make you. Barriers can blow out the lamp of vision. They can drain your enthusiasm and cripple your hope. The come in all sizes and situations and they test your faith, your endurance...they reveal what lies in the deepest recesses of your soul. They separate the men from the boys, the leaders from the followers. Walls train you and test your training.
As I was running this morning, I was really tired for some reason. I am not sure why, it might be the bladder infection I got which made me piss blood in the gym Saturday (that freaked me out!) or just the long week I had last week. But whatever the case I was dragging big time. I run 6 miles in an hour and to do that for me, I have to keep a pretty good pace, I am drenched by the end of the run. It feels good afterwards but during the run there are moments when everything screams stop!
Today it felt real tough 15 minutes into the run...I knew then that this was going to be a fight. I had to pull real deep to not settle for stopping today. As I was passing the last 15 minutes the above scripture came to my mind. I realized I was hitting a wall...I have been stuck at 222-221 for over a week and a half which is really frustrating because I have increased my distance and intensity and altered my diet even more to try to finally get under 220, a major goal for me.
A wall. Ohhh it seemed so big in my burning legs and sweaty body and tired mind but I kept pushing, allowing this scripture to give me wind, letting it seep into my spirit and bring up other walls that I have been hitting.
Ministry walls.
Family walls.
Physical walls.
Financial walls.
Spiritual walls.
All barriers to the promises I am called to apprehend in my life.
In that moment as the sweat is streaming down my face and I am giving it ALL I have, 110% pure push...I realized these walls will be overcome if I ATTACK them and not settle or allow them to prevent me from moving forward.
I sense this to be year of the leap.
God is empowering us to leap over the walls that have kept us at the level of living we have settled for or simply accepted as our fate. God will illuminate the areas of our life that these barriers and walls have stood unchallenged for to long and a great strength will come this year to finally get over them!
I believe it.
4 comments:
It's so inspiring to hear someone push through that "it's-time-to-stop" period in any major workout. I've had such low energy these past couple weeks - physically, spiritually, etc., and it's easy to just say, okay, I've given, now it's time to wait for someone else to give.
But I've learned that there's not always someone there to give, and I can't afford to get used to rest time. It's like when you get 12 hours of solid sleep, yet you're more tired than if you just got 7. It's time to hop back on the tread (mill) and remember what it was like to sweat....
While I totally see what you're getting at in terms of physical work, this speaks to me about my spiritual life as of late. Thanks. That's an encouraging verse that I'll memorize and say when I'm weary, physically and spiritually.
I too have allowed some walls to remain in my life, but I have decided to tear the suckers down instead of leaping over them. If you choose to leap over them the wall still remains intact.
The wife here...
My wall is UNBELIEF and DOUBT. Sometimes it's from me, but also sometimes from others around me. I know the Lord's plans for Eric and I, but haven't been able to see the pieces move into place yet. God has spoken that my calling is to be at Eric's side in full time ministry - to use MUSIC, MEDIA and MOTHERHOOD to further His Kingdom.
I know that I know that I know this is my Destiny...
So yesterday, I lost my job after 4+ years....(scratch record here)
The brooke has dried up and it's time to move on. Okay...now where to go, is the question? To what is safe, and what I know??
Sure, I could get a job tomorrow...in fact I've already been offered a full time position with another company, so I could build a new "career". I could also just work a crappy part-time/waste-of-time position for however long until one day we squeek into something different
...OR...
I could push FORWARD into my destiny! I could dare to believe for God's PERFECT will, which is faith for something I don't have right now.
Will I be hindered by unbelief and doubt of my own heart or others around me?
THAT IS THE WALL IN FRONT OF MY FACE AT THIS MOMENT.
I have asked Eric to pray for direction and wisdom in this area - and I will follow his counsel. I want us to walk hand in hand and have faith for the next season TOGETHER, because it's not a matter of IF we will be in full time ministry together...but WHEN.
We have lived on faith before, but have we got too old and content to risk again???? I'm asking myself that question.
Seems pretty interesting that Eric's sermons have been all about faith and stepping out into the unknown...hhhmmm. Pray for God to illuminate our path ahead and give us resolve to follow him no matter what the cost. LeeElla : )
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