We have this treasure in earthen vessels....we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body...so death woks in us, but life in you. -2 Corinthians 4:7-12
It's not a pretty thing carrying around dying things. There is a lot of sorrow around death, tears, rage, conflicting emotions that sometimes erupt or submerge but always make themselves known in some way or another. Death is not lightly experienced.
I have been experiencing a sort of death in my inner life that has been tough. Dying to people, dying to ministry, expectations, affections, reputation and a host of other things that the Lord is requiring me to let go of.
Simple repentance...turning away from something or someone.
Such wrestling are often violent encounters with me. Things don't break their hold easily. It's often a long grapple into the night...another Jacob wrestling angels until the break of day.
I apologize if the sight is unbecoming but if you come to this site than you have stepped into my own personal arena and your bound to see, hear and feel the weight of the struggle.
Hopefully it will bear life in some.
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Do not apologize for who you are. Do not worry about your reputation, you are a man of God. Speak what must be spoken, do what must be done. Principle and glory to God matter more than what people think. The last thing we need is another politician.
Even our brothers will hate us, but the only one we need on our side is God.
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