Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. -Psalms 139:12A common mistake I find in sharing ones journey; is attaching too much judgment or explanation to the phases of our temperaments. Dark is purposeful...imagine a world without the nuances of shadow.
Could one endure the brightness of constant light?
We need the moon to balance the Sun.
We need our sleep life to counterbalance our awake life.
Could you truly appreciate much of anything without the multiplicity of opposites?
Is a walk underneath moonlight to be eclipsed by a stroll in evening colors?
Could the world ever bloom with only sunlight and no spring drenching showers?
I think the problem comes when the winter refuses to give way her hold to the advances of spring.
These are the seasons when we need a savior, an Aslan, a doctor, a rescue.
But it all makes up our story...no chapter should be left unwritten, if it has been lived.
The church is weaker because she pretends to presently live in a city without a Moon...but that day hasn't arrived yet.
Depression is a subject that many Christians have a hard time understanding or even talking about. I've walked in shadows a lot of my life...at times into darkness that I needed help recovering from. In the past prayer has helped, diet has had an impact and listening to my life and understanding what my body was saying to me was essential.
For some medications are part of the path towards health. The mind needs a lift, an extra push, a piggy-back to catch it's breath. Sometimes it's in need of a little refill bio-chemically. It's nothing to feel bad or unspiritual about, all our bodies get drained and sometimes need medication to help our own immune system catch up or extra punch to fight off whatever is attacking.
Faith people are often the wrong people to go to for health wisdom...have you looked in the pews? The church is full of sick, unhealthy, mental, angry, supressed, overweight people...God loves them, but don't look for too much wisdom on self-care from them. I say that as a loving pastor. Get help from doctors...not patients.
Remember "darkness" is often the souls cry for light. It's shouting or moaning about deep issues that need healing or need change. Greyness, numbness are often signs that one is walking in a unhealthy lie of some kind. "hope deferred, makes the heart sick". Treatment should help you catch you breath long enough to unpack the heart or mind issues.
Medications are like a life preserver, it won't propell you but it will keep you from drowning.
I thank God for the moon and the sun...I've been able to accept, understand and enjoy who and I am and who God is, more because of it.
4 comments:
when i was going through my divorce, i went through a very deep depression....
i medicated with alcohol for a while...
when i didn't want to do that anymore, my doctor gave me paxil...
it made me worse!
tried a couple other ones too...
nothing helped...
well st. johns wort...i only needed a little help..
i realize now, it was more because of my circumstances than an actual physical ailment..
not saying some people don't need medication....they do..
i have a friend that leads a depression small group at the church i used to go to..he needs medication, as do others...
but probably most people, it is a result of their circumstances in life...
not saying either, trust Jesus and you will never be depressed...
He was.... Matthew 26:38
Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
just have to remember that God is in charge, and the rain falls on the righteous and the wicked......
Hi Eric,
I think this is one of the most thoughtful things you have ever written, I have shared it with others and I know it has been a blessing to them. As Christians we read, here from the pulpit and other Christians the ideal, the highest standard, the goal, but none of us live at the top, but rather we are a mixture of success and failure, angel and beast, a perfect paradox. Along with that can come despondancy in even the strongest of souls. But to the more emotional, the timid, the sensitive, not to mention those who have hurtful pasts, discouragement and depression are frequent visitors. This post is full of hope and I know it will be an encouragement to all.
Love Dad.
The medications I took for a long time helped me a great deal. They kept me steady.
But, as Joey said, depression comes in many forms. For me, it was a physical condition that needed treatment. Like cancer or diabetes.
Still though, it is also very much a spiritual condition as well. Not to hyper-spiritualize it. Simply to say that medication alone didn't help me.
People help too. My family helped. My mom helped. My friends helped. Jesus cured me.
Hope is often all one has in those moments. The more we as Christians can point the depressed towards hope, the more testimonies we will have that say "I used to have depression".
I agree, this is an EXCELLENT post. When my mom and I first moved to Spokane, about 3 months or so after we moved, she went into a downward spiral that left her nearly lifeless and thinking seriously and repeatedly about suicide.
Realizing that bipolar disorder can be passed on genetically, people who were close to me at that time said things like "I hope you never get depressed," and "I sure hope you don't turn bi-polar," and "You better not ever go through that."
And because I'm a people pleaser, I set out to prove to them and to myself that I was bigger than depression, that it would never get a hold on me. Not only that, but I secretly judged those who did struggle with it, blaming them for it.
Since then, God has graciously (I know it sounds funny, but I really mean "graciously") allowed me to walk my own path of depression. To live in such a way that the world was devoid of color, light and life. The air was made of sludge and the simplest of activities was a burden, chore and drudgery. I longed to simply cease to exist because I thought it would be better not to exist than to pretend to live without feeling anything.
I'm glad God showed me what it's like to live there. Now, when I go back, there's a sweet sorrow in it, because I recognize that the darkness increases my craving for light. The more I live on earth, the more I long for Heaven. And not just Heaven, but the One Who holds Heaven together and is the Center of all life and existence. And somehow He continues to give me strength to draw the next breath, even when I don't want to.
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