Then There Was This Girl Who
wouldn't Go To Change With The Girls In The Change Room
but When They Finally Made Her
they Saw Birthmarks All Over Her Body
she Couldn't Quite Explain It
they'd Always Just Been There...
mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
-MMMM by Crash Test Dummies
I saw a dead body this evening.
A leg hanging out of the car parked in the restaurant parking lot. Police tape around the vehicle, door open, yellow plastic blanket covering the body in the drivers seat. A dead body slumped back in the seat...I continued to drive by...wondering, praying...feeling a sting in my heart.
I've been close to death before...close enough to catch it's numbing virus in my fragile and growing subconscious. I've stood near it and could feel it's cold breath on my young soul. Suicide is visually terrifying...it freezes you in a numbing, fever like way.
I've seen bloody water...razor blades...and drugs emptied in hopelessness, they were mixed together in a moment that forever seared itself into my tender heart.
How can life be so bad that death seems better...try to wrestle with that as a teenager.
I've held the hands that have tried to end the life of the one weeping. I've seen scars, scabs and tracks. I've heard the sobs of the molested and the confessions of the molester. I have seen the tears of the damned and the rescued both echoing with each falling...with unforgiving tragedy, nihilistic suffocation's and brutal tales that slow your heart until you can hear your heart beating...too loud.
I've seen into black eyes that have no pupils but have dilated into a haunting plea for rescue.
I've seen devils...in the face of a young woman who squirmed within a moment of eternity that beckoned for deliverance. I 've seen apparitions...that haunted me, reached for me and terrorized me in the night.
I've watched a man cut his flesh to draw blood at the urging of dark music while the pounding of nails was heard...evil moments that shouldn't be.
This is the world that the barbarians live and die in...the world that God calls us too. A world that will make you bleed and suffer. it will bring you to the end of yourself...you will find that in yourself you are unable to do whatever it takes. You can not save. Not only that, but those you seek to save will often turn and crucify the very hands that seek to save. Nails for compassion...only His love can fuel a life that can endure that kind of insanity.
Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to go to hell. But you can only get to heaven through the halls of hell. If you follow Jesus...then you must walk the paths He travelled...the way leads right into the bleakest, the dirtiest, the vilest and most abhorrent seedy places of sin and suffering. Will we dare follow Him as He truly walked?
The sad fact is...more people will have more of a problem with the picture I used for this post than the fact that the content of the post is true and taking place right in their own neighborhoods. God forgive us...