little stream...

The greatest of oceans can't offer you a cup of good drink,
yet the lowliest of streams can refresh you with its small but sweet waters.

Raging rivers, booming their threatening voice forward like a charging wall of horses,
is sure to awaken wonder like thunder frightens a timid child.
Yet, the quiet melodies of a meandering secluded brook,
mesmerizes the jaded soul out of its catatonic spell like the kiss of tender and moist lips.
Each ripple, soft as breath but as life altering,
as the moment Lazarus heard his name spoken once again.

Deep waters alluring mystery beckon us like a sirens voice,
but the whispers of bubbling glass dancing over small stones,
calls to our hearts like the fragrance of mothers embrace.
One can drown in the depths of a mountain shedding its winter coat,
but one can be born anew in the mirrors found in quietly gathering pools.

One can pass in the streams closest to the sanctuary,
but cannot ford the wild waters farther away.
Let go of chasing angels; abandon measuring depths that only celestials can fathom,
and being content to find waters too walk within is my present wisdom.
-Written 2.25.05.

I was inspired this morning by Henery Ward Beecher's chapter in Star Papers called "Springs and Solitude".
I turned the chapter into song in my morning devotions and out of that song came this poem. I love how literature breeds contemplation and contemplation births music and music turns to prayer and prayer marries ink and on and on it flows...

Our deepest fear...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Mirianne Williamson. I know that this woman isn't a Christian teacher but I think she hits on a important point about living out the new creation life. Who we are is so much more than who we have been. Who we will become by God's indwelling and transforming life is so much more than we can ever comprehend. You are in Christ and to be in Him has eternal and temporal ramifications of eternal consequence.

Some of my Favorite Things:
- reading good books
- buying good books
- clean laundry room
- europe
- receiving real letters in the mail
- fresh dark coffee
- pictures
- a clean house
- patchouli incense
- snuggles with Micah, my youngest son
- big Macs, Tokyo teriyaki, Mongolian food and pizza
- the view from the top of Mt. Schweitzer ID on a clear day
- the smell of caves
- finishing a good book
- my suede coat that I bought for around $8 at Value Village
- long, hot showers
- emails from people that matter
- our suede comforter
- early summer mornings
- warm and mellowing summer evenings
- reading while it is raining with the window open to hear the sound
- picking blackberries
- finishing a poem that captures what I feel
- the smell and sound of the Pacific ocean
- being somewhere else with my honey
- fishing streams
- spending hours at Powell’s Books in Portland OR
- swimming in deep, clear water
- going to the movies
- The Lord of The Rings books and movies
- summer camp with our youth church
- my fathers garden
- when home is quiet because everyone is doing something productive
- worship with our youth church
- the sound of birds in the morning
- a good rock song
- a good worship or praise song
- a good video game
- chess
- freshly mowed lawn
- drawing a good picture
- a good kiss from my wife
- good red wine with a good meal
- a dark beer with good friends 

“Never Forget! The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.”
-Friedrich Nietzche, 19th century german Philosopher

If you loathe my loathing...

I know its negative, brash and caustic, unfortunately that's the raw me on certain issues. Obviously we all seek to water down our rudeness and aim to harness our darker natures but they are there and writing is a good tool to release the dogs for a run. This blog is a chance to get off the leash for a while.

If we always seek to write, as we think others think we should write, we will never find our own voice. Moralizing every drop of ink is innocuous and leads to an impotent pen. Dancing lightly over issues and always sanitizing them with antibacterial scrubs leaves one with a dangerously vulnerable voice.

We need our dirt...it bolsters our immune system towards dull group think.
We need independent voice and often it takes the adolescence of thought to arrive at the maturity of wisdom.
Writing is very cathartic but the process leaves a bloody mess sometimes.

What is the seal of attained freedom? -No longer being ashamed in front of oneself.
-Friedrich Nietzsch

Things I loathe...

· Nail chewing…oh the germs that hide there.
· Corporate greed…sticking it to the little man
· Offering grace to the sinned against but not the sinner.
· The sexualizing of everything for young girls…do they need thongs?
· Parents that don’t change their kids diapers…I’m suffocating here!
· Bland buildings…is that all we can come up with too meet in?
· Art free churches…and we serve a God who created a lily?
· Chewing with your mouth open…please shut it.
· Girls who cuss…and you eat with that mouth?
· People who don’t choose too shower or wear deodorant.
· People who won’t have children, when there are so many in need of adoption…do you really need all that stuff anyway?
· Slow and inconsiderate waiters/waitresses…your tip is on the line here Betty.
· When people can’t talk about anything deeper than E channel or ESPN…shoot me in the head please.
· Anything by boy bands or smut and butt singers…put some clothes on you bimbos and pimps.
· When you buy a 2 litter of pop and its flat…arrrrrgh!
· Overly sensitive people….toughen up baby.
· Teen girl singers who start out sweet and go smutty.
· Boring sermons…absolutely nothing more sinful.
· Sappy, plastic unrealistic worship music…no I can’t worship to anything, sorry.
· Getting in the car and its on empty…oh this sizzles my bacon.
· Eye goobers and snot…oh please, please look in the mirror once in awhile, will ya?
· Spiders…oh how I loathe arachnids with such a passion.
· Moss and weeds in my lawn…I am going to kick Adam in the butt for this one.
· Dirty homes…how hard is it to clean up after yourselves?
· No clean laundry…nuff said.
· Cheap beer…if you can’t pay for good beer, don’t drink it bud.
· When people leave peanut butter or jelly on the jars.
· Skinny girls…eat a Big Mac please, your innards and bones are showing and it is grossing me out.
· Thong underwear…get over your Victoria self, floss is for teeth anyways.
· Girls who can’t find a kennel for their puppies…if you have to hike it, than you shouldn’t buy it.
· Girls who bathe themselves in perfume and body sprays…choke, gag, gasp…
· That I suck at speeelling.
· That I am too timid…stupid man pleaser.
· That I don’t have anything in savings.
· That I have not had medical insurance for over 12 years. Thanks.
· Women who can’t say anything positive about their husbands.
· Men who can’t pull their heads out of their ass and love their wives.Stupid and slow drivers…can’t you read the signs…this is a freeway not a golf course.

Am I Judas for listening to Priest....

OK...a little confession here, I really like this band. Can a pastor like a heavy metal band such as Judas Priest? I just cant think of a band that plays better hard music. They have a new CD coming out March 1st with Rob Halford back in the drivers seat. Ripper Owens was a good stand in after Halford left the band but not just the same thing as the priest front man himself. My only regret from my teen years is that I didn't get to see these bad boys live. I hope to remedy that if they come to the Northwest to tour this new album. Man, am I really that old that I am going to a reunion tour...how pathetic.

Beastly beard dreams...

Ok, I admit it, I want to be a Viking. The only thing that really sucks about my life is that I can't grow a really good head of hair anymore. That really puts the nail in the coffin for the Viking look. I can grow a really good beard though but it just doesn't go over that well in this home. Come on! Every man should be able to grow a beastly beard once in his life. I am still holding out for the miracle cure for baldness and if it comes, I am growing my Viking mane. Then when I return to Norway and ride on the ocean I can feel real cool.

Wanted: Dead or Alive...

Here is Jim Olson and me singing Wanted: Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi. We won best karaoke that night...oh the grand achievements I have reached, all by the tender young age of 34.

This is Alex, a member of our youth church, doing a cover of a Brittany Spears song at our February Formal. It's non-date event, a chance to eat an expensive dinner at a nice restaurant and get all dressed up with pictures, friends and entertainment. We rented a karaoke machine this year and it was a hit.
 

Jesse and Neue, two of my favorite people and not bad youth leaders too...though they are a little loopy. 

100 things about me...

Born Frederick Christian Blauer the 4th on Aug. 28, 1970.
In Maryville, California.
Virgo.
Some of the places I have lived: Boise ID, Tangent, Corvallis, Bend and Portland OR.
Sometimes a procrastinator.
I miss Powell’s books in Portland, OR, I think a tear formed as I entered the last time I was there…
I could care less about sports.
Once was called “Howie” as a nick name.
I go to bed early and often rise early too.
I have a few close friends and know way too many people.
I weighed 170 when I was married, 15 years ago and weigh 240 now.
I snore.
I am really love the Lord Of The Rings and try to work it into too many sermons.
I write letters to the editor of the local paper.
I didn't graduate from high school but I did get my high school diploma through a community college program.
I am proud of the above accomplishment and not just getting a GED.
I was raised by a vegetarian mother who cried when she saw me eat a hamburger.
I love chick-a-sticks, butterfingers and skittles.
I enjoys collecting and reading books, especially the feel and smell of old books.
I've never seen someone die.
I have broken my right wrist trying to kick two balls at once.
I have had my heart broken by 3 girls that I really loved.
I love cats more than dogs but I don't have a cat, but I own a dog.
I eat a lot of toast with peanut butter.
I like to lift weights but I am not doing that now.
I've been to France, Holland, England and Norway.
I have a heart for foreign missions in Western Europe.
I own a tobacco pipe that I bought in Norway.
My first concert was KISS.
I really like the rain, especially when its really misty.
I still get way too many zits.
I don't know any foreign languages.
I used to wear three earrings.
I want a tattoo but have not got one yet.
I own a 1969 Mustang that needs a bigger engine.
I burn lots of incense (patchouli)
People who chew with their mouths open irritate the heck out of me.
I can't really do much with my hands and it bothers me to death.
I want to go to Thailand where my brother lives.
I make a mean breakfast.
I love no-bake cookies the best, thanks to Grandma Peggy.
I watch way too much TV.
I am the oldest of three brothers, whom I wish I could see more often.
I can't seem to get too excited about much of anything.
I love Starwars movies…a lot.
I really like heavy metal.
I really, really like Judas Priest.
I don't have a lot of cash.
I have been known to read at stoplights.
I miss the Grotto in Portland, OR.
I can draw and paint but don't.
I love the Dutch people the best.
I love gardens but suck at anything that requires a green thumb.
I have never won anything.
I want to be an author but won't write a book.
I preach a lot but never went to Bible College.
I had a dog as a child named Dusty that was killed by a UPS truck.
I love leather jackets.
I have a good collection of Tarzan books.
I hate mowing the lawn.
I love Bob Dylan music but own only one cd.
I got fired at my first job for turning in someone for selling drugs at work.
I love swimming in rivers the best.
I can't stand most Christian music on the radio.
I read the paper a lot.
I have a picture of Marilyn Monroe in my study.
I hate legalism.
I really dig Sheryl Crow.
I think Catherine Zetta Jones is a babe and my wife knows it.
I wish I were a Viking.
I love dark beer.
I don't like vegetables.
I am really sensitive to caffeine, it makes me angry.
I like earth tones and black clothing.
I think gothic chicks are sexy.
I really love fantasy, sci-fi and action movies.
I wish I had a degree in something.
I have a fish.
I have owned a snake.
I am a pastor.
I am a big Seinfeld fan.
I can't dance.
I have lost too many really good friends too a cult.
I was a part of a really awesome home church that turned into a really nasty cult.
I am really squeamish and can throw up really easy.
I own way too many pairs of shoes.
I love art.
I want a drum.
I have been married almost 15 glorious years.
I love pizza.
I love poetry and have written a lot myself.
I did a lot of drugs as a teen.
I want a big sword.
I have 5 kids.
I struggle with joy.
I was allergic to sugar and milk as a kid.
I didn't get a license until right before I got married.
I've never seen any Austin Powers movies.
So I Married An Axe Murderer is one of my favorite movies.
I shave my head regularly.

Roughing it...

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Mark Twain is one of my favorite authors, there is something about him and the way he writes that moves me. I am reading his book called "Roughing it" and have laughed out loud, which I don't do that often. It's a book about his first travels out West to Nevada and so far it's been a great read. His description of sage brush and jack rabbits are amazing, especially if you have ever lived around them. I know that doesn't seem that interesting but for me the way he writes captures simple things in unique and often hilarious ways.

I saw all three versions Of JESUS WALKS music video by Kanye West today...I was really moved. What an awesome message that needs to be heard in the rap world, let alone youth culture.

Alien VS Predator

I watched Alien VS Predator this week and I really enjoyed the ride.
I love Science fiction and the Alien movies have always given me a great Sci-fi buzz.
You just cant go wrong with the Alien, he/she has got to be about the best evil creature on film, in my opinion. This movie had its weak elements but all in all, I will add it to my good list.

Does anyone else have a better choice for best beastie?

so true....

A man who has a vision but no task is a dreamer; a man who has a task but no vision is a drudge; but a man with a task and a vision is on the brink of victory.

I am currently racking up hours on Lord of the Rings Third Age on the Playstation 2.
Wow, I didnt think I would like the turn based format of this video game but I am hooked.
I am fighting the Balrog right now and on my first attempt, I got my whole party slaughtered. I am also totally digging traveling through the mines of Moria, the graphics are sweet. I have always loved the dwarves the best and being able to wander through the deep city under the mountains is amazing to behold. It's a must play for any Tolkien fan or fantasy junkie in general. Very cool, two thumbs up for me.
 

A moving film...

I saw this film while I was down in Portland with my Dad Fred and step-mom Sue.
It was a very tough movie to watch but has stayed with me for a long time, which is the sign of a good movie to me. I had a lot of mixed emotions afterward...sorrow, anger, fear and some doubt. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around such atrocities, hate and suffering. I get a bit ticked at God for allowing such things to take place. I know all the pat answers to such a thought but honestly they just dont satisfy my angst. Though I know the truth of Job 41:2-6 in my mind; in my heart there is still trepidation about one who can do good but doesnt seem too. I just wish He would come back and put an end to this madness that we are doing to ourselves.

Old paths...

It will sound very strange to some to hear me talk about holding fast to old ways, old doctrines, old customs, old anything from me, whose whole life and ministry has been an incitement to new thought, to development, to on-going.

As if there were any real antagonism between the hand that goes out to sow the seed, and the hand that comes back with the sickle to reap that which has been sown! As if growing and development, were not perfectly harmonious with maintaining the stability of things gained already! As if there could be a wise conservatism that did not take into account a wise progressiveness!

We are not in this world, to hold on to anything as if it were the perfect form of thought, or the final form of principle; but we are to hold on to all those things which long and ripe experience have shown to be beneficial until something else which is more beneficial can be put in their place.
Henry Ward Beecher from the sermon "The Old Paths" ...Thanks Dad, for this one ;)

Pearl harbor survivor Houston James of Dallas embraced Marine Staff Sgt. mark Graunke Jr. during a Veterans Day commemoration in Dallas yesterday. Graunke lost a hand, a leg and an eye when he defused a bomb in Iraq last year. -Associated press
 

Here is a shot of all the of the Hunt family together, which would be all of my wife, LeeEllas family.  

A cool piece of art in the grotto in Portland OR. 

Here is two of my sons, Christian on the right and Austin on the left. A couple of good looking boys, if I do say so myself. 

BLAZE Youth Conference, May 13-14, 2005.
Here at New Hope Christian Center, Spokane Wa.
Free admission. 2 days of life changing encounters with God and each other through spoken word, music, ministry and new/old relationships.
BLAZE is a gathering of spiritual tribes that are desperate and committed to see the Kingdom of God advanced in the lives, ministries and cities of the Pacific Northwest. We welcome anyone that has a heart and vision to see the purposes of God accomplished in and through the emerging generations, no matter what your age.
 

Here is Dallas Sphar living out his dream in South Africa. I sent out a prophesy last month that he gave concerning Nation Building, it was a good word. He has always had a heart for the African people and now for the last few years he has been advancing the kingdom of God in South Africa. It has been cool to see the desires of his heart coming to pass.  

Here is my favorite statue in the Grotto. It is at the top of the 150 foot cliff and overlooks the valley. It perfectly captures, spiritual longing, to me. I think it is just divine. 

My brother Marcs wife Angie and Raleigh.
 

My brother Marc and his son. 

Here is a picture of a picture of my dad and my brother Marcs son Raleigh. I thought it was a cute picture.
 

Here is Lilly Blauer the newest member to the Blauer clan. She is the first daughter of my brother Marc and his lovely wife Angie. I got to spend a few hours with them this last weekend while I was in Portland. She was a doll.  

Saint Francis...

Here is a great shot of one of my favorite statues in the Grotto, good ole Saint Francis.